The perfect prenuptial party

How to perfect that final party

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

Christina Lewis Wong of Hawai‘i Kai planned a bachelorette party fit for Martha Stewart, from luxurious spa pamperings to an all-dressed-up dinner at the Hanohano Room (pictured above, with the bride in the middle, wearing the black V-neck) for seven of her close friends and family.

They call it "your last chance."

One last night of unadulterated independence. One last night of no obligations. One last night out with your friends, no holds barred.

Say goodbye to singlehood.

That is the purpose behind bachelor and bachelorette parties. Whether it’s an afternoon spent shoe-shopping or an evening at a seedy strip club, these "premarital" parties revolve around giving the bride- or groom-to-be one last reminder of what they may be giving up.

And with more than 25,000 weddings performed in Hawai‘i last year alone, planning a memorable night out may not be as easy as ordering pizza and hiring a stripper.

Here are some examples of bachelor and bachelorette parties gone good, from the brides and grooms who survived.

Indulge yourself

Christina Lewis Wong knew exactly what women want: pampering.

Her bachelorette party, held the week before her July 8, 2000, wedding on O‘ahu, had all the elements of a party that even Martha Stewart would be proud of: themed invitations, an elegant lunch, luxurious spa treatments and, of course, shopping.

The 31-year-old sales manager at The Orchid at Mauna Lani on the Big Island scheduled and paid for the entire party. Invitations went out three months in advance to ensure perfect planning.

At 11:45 a.m. the guests - her bridesmaids, mom, stepmom and brother’s girlfriend - had lunch at Mariposa in Neiman Marcus. By 1:15 p.m., the group arrived at Ampy’s European Facials & Body Spa near Ala Moana Center, ready for their spa treatments. Each guest received one paid-for treatment of their choice, ranging from massages to pedicures.

"I wanted people to be relaxed, to feel pampered," Lewis Wong said. "And I also wanted them (most of whom were out-of-town guests) to experience the great things about Hawai‘i. I think we have the best spas and treatments here."

The group favorite: the massage with a raspberry body scrub.

Lewis Wong picked up the tab for what she considered a thank-you to her friends and family; it registered about $70 per person, with tip.

After the two-hour pampering, the now-relaxed group headed to Ala Moana Center to browse, window-shop and pick up last-minute items for the wedding. Then they retreated to their hotel rooms to get primped for dinner at the Hanohano Room in Waikiki.

Lewis Wong chose that restaurant among the hundreds in the area because it "has the most spectacular view."

But where they went after that was not on her agenda.

Her bridesmaids, all childhood friends from California, gave her sophisticated gathering an edge.

After dinner, they took Lewis to Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar for drinks. By 11:30 p.m. they left the upscale watering hole for a more real-bar atmosphere at Venus Nightclub, where there was more drinking and dancing. Knowing ahead of time that they would be drinking, her friends had arranged a limo to drive them around.

Everyone in the bridal party except one was engaged, making Lewis Wong’s bachelorette party really an excuse for all of them to relive their youthful glory days.

"I think (a bachelorette party) is more about recapturing that girlhood time you had growing up with each other, the laughter, the giggling," she said. "It’s about being women, not obsessing about boys, but about recapturing youth and childhood memories, about how our lives are changing. It’s savoring that moment."

Her two regrets: forgetting the lei and champagne glasses at home.

"We drank the champagne in Dixie cups," she said with a laugh. "It was pretty tacky."

Local-style fun

Hilo boy Louie Dela Cruz wasn’t expecting much for his bachelor party. But his friends and family from the Big Island had something big in mind.

Surprising him at home on O‘ahu one Saturday morning, his best man - and best friend - planned an entire day of sun and fun. "When I saw them in the morning, that was the best thing," said the 26-year-old newlywed and resident of Kaimuki. "I hadn’t seen them in a while. That whole time was the highlight."

But there was more to come.

At 9:15 a.m., after Dela Cruz came home from his job as a firefighter, the eight guys headed to Sam Choy’s Breakfast Lunch & Crab for an upscale, local-kine breakfast. The best man picked up the tab for Dela Cruz’s day while other paid for themselves.

They agreed on spending the entire day at one of O‘ahu’s favorite playgrounds: the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park.

"That was fun," said Dela Cruz, who was married July 1, 2000. "It was their first times there."

In the afternoon, they left the water park in search of local grinds, finding Rainbow Drive-In in Kapahulu.

By 5 p.m., they were at their hotel rooms in Waikiki, getting ready for a night of cheap beer and karaoke at Good Times Bar & Grindz.

By 8 p.m., the guys were ready to celebrate the "bachelor" part of the party. They toured the typical hot spots - Club Rock-Za and Club Femme Nu - before heading home at 2 a.m.

"You gotta do it," Dela Cruz said about hitting the strip clubs. "I think it’s a standard."

But it’s not what’s most important to him.

"For me, it was about socializing with friends," he said, "just having a good time."

Finding the ‘fantasy’

Ronnette Miyashiro believes in themes.

So when she was helping to plan her friend’s bachelorette party last September, she knew exactly how to make it memorable for the guest of honor.

The party centered around the bride’s fantasies (most of which can’t be printed here). The guests brought gifts that represented each fantasy, many of them centering around the bride’s weakness for chocolate.

"We knew her really well," said the 30-year-old Miyashiro, who had been friends with the bride since the fourth grade.

A surprise party for the bride, the 15 friends met at HMC Karaoke Pearlridge at 5:30 p.m. The guest of honor arrived at 6 p.m., surprised to see a private room decorated in her theme colors, blue and silver, and dressed with silver stars.

The food was catered by Gina’s Barbeque in Market City Shopping Center, and the centerpieces were made with Hershey’s Kisses. Miyashiro helped create the favors: custom-made CDs with the bride’s favorite songs.

Though they ended up singing just three songs, Miyashiro said the karaoke atmosphere was a perfect setting for the party. They played shower-type games, opened presents and ate Korean food. It couldn’t have been better, Miyashiro said.

"It was to celebrate her getting married," said Miyashiro, a teacher at ‘Aiea High School and Nu‘uanu resident. "She was the one in our group that we always thought would have been the last one to settle down. We were just celebrating her getting married and moving onto the next phase of her life."

Tee-ing off

Marriage was Tom Wong’s excuse to have a guy party.

With 24 guys on his guest list, he planned an all-day event starting with golf and ending with cocktails with the hopes of bringing together two families that hadn’t met.

"Our whole wedding was about getting our families together and spending time with each other," said Wong, who married California native Christina Lewis Wong on July 8, 2000.

The same morning his then-fiancee headed to the spa, Wong met his guests in front of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel at 8 a.m. A rented tour van took the group to the Makaha West Golf Club. Wong, now an executive chef at the Wai‘alae Country Club, had equipped each cart with bentos, musubis, sandwiches and coolers filled with beer, soda, juice and water.

After the round of golf, they all gathered in the clubhouse for prizes, such as polo shirts and golf balls, for golfers who came closest to the hole, recorded the best score, had the worst suntan and traveled the farthest to get there.

"The best part was not so much the gifts, but the token," said the 40-year-old Hawai‘i Kai resident, "and the ribbing that went along with it."

The group returned to the hotel, took showers and got ready for an eventful night at Club Femme Nu. Again, Wong provided all the food, such as fried noodles, minute chicken, Chinese spare ribs and crispy gau gee. At 10 p.m. the guests climbed back into the van and headed back to the hotel. In all, a good night for Wong.

"We mostly talked story," he said. "It was fun. It was all about eating and getting together."

It was the perfect bachelor party for Donivan Konno (pictured fifth from the left): good food, good friends and good fun at his best man’s home in Kekaha, Kaua‘i.

Keeping it simple

Sometimes bachelor parties aren’t about going out at all.

Donivan Konno celebrated his last night of singlehood at his best man’s house in Kekaha, Kaua‘i - just the way he wanted.

At 5 p.m. around 35 guests packed in the home, feasting on the familiar local favorites the women had prepared, such as sashimi, poke, noodles and barbecue ribs.

With surf videos playing in the background, the friends and family members talked story, drank beer and dished words of advice for Konno, engaged only for three months before his Sept. 30, 2000, wedding.

"Some were humorous, some serious," said the 28-year-old air-conditioning and refrigeration technician from Lihu‘e.

"Some said, ‘Don’t do it.’ But I think the basic one was how to say, ‘Yes, dear.’ I seem to say that a lot," he said, laughing.

He liked it simple, and called it the best bachelor party he has been to, even without strippers.

"I guess I’m kinda that way," he said. "Easy, simple, not too rigid."

Although he sees bachelor parties as the last night of freedom, he has no regrets about the relaxed nature of his party.

To him, it was perfect.

"All my friends were there," he said. "Just being there. That was the highlight. And the food was awesome, too."

How to perfect that final party

Planning a bachelor or bachelorette party may not be as daunting as planning an entire wedding - unless you want to do it right.

Here are some tips from recent brides and grooms on how to perfect the last party of singlehood:

• Plan ahead of time. Depending on how elaborate the party is, social organizers should allot enough time for guests to respond and for them to plan. For the all-day events Christina Lewis Wong and Tom Wong planned, they sent out invitations three months in advance. For the smaller, but creative, get-together Ronnette Miyashiro planned, she invited guests just a month prior.
• Alert people you’re coming. For some venues, managers should know about your party. Wong needed to schedule his golf outing with the Makaha West Golf Club because he was bringing in outside food.
• Figure out transportation. This is especially important if partygoers will be drinking. Lewis rented a limo to take them around town; Wong rented a tour van. If you can’t afford that, do what Louis Dela Cruz did: Designate a nondrinking driver. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
• Get help. You can’t do everything alone. Enlist the help of friends and family, especially if the load gets too heavy. Delegate the catering, reservations, favors, games and decorations to those who want to help out. "If you plan it with your friends, with a group of people, it works out really well," Miyashiro said.
• Remember who this is for. "It’s about you," Wong said. "Ask yourself, ‘What do you want?’"

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