Island mothers win honors for activities, promoting values

By Jan Tenbruggencate and Beverly Creamer
Advertiser Staff Writers

The two women are separated by 11 years of age, the channel that divides O'ahu from Kaua'i, and their approaches to daily parenting. Yet they have something profound in common: their commitment to their families and to building family values.

They are Trinette Parraga Kaui of Kaua'i, state Mother of the Year, and Kathy Ho of Pearl City, state Young Mother Representative, so named by the Hawai'i chapter of American Mothers Inc., a nonprofit, inter-faith organization based in New York.

Together they beat 15 other candidates to win the local honors and the chance to represent Hawai'i later this month at the national competition in the Mother of the Year Convention in Portland, Ore.

Winners must be members of the organization, which has 4,000 members nationally, and anywhere from 70 to 200 members in Hawai'i each year, said Lianna McMillan, immediate past president. The Mother of the Year may be any age, while the Young Mother Representative's children must be younger than 18.

Here are some quick glimpses of the local winners.

Hawai‘i Mother of the Year Trinette Parraga Kaui of Kaua‘i, with son Donovan, 15. Kaui believes in staying active in the community, calling it a family tradition rather than a chore. Cory Lum • The Honolulu Advertiser

When the Rotary Club of West Kaua'i has a track meet, expect to find Trinette Kaui's family there.

They'll be timing, or holding the finish line tape, or performing any of a dozen other chores.

It's one of the ways the family manages to maintain a close family life with an active role in the community.

Kaui was raised not far from the milking sheds at the old Waimea Dairy on West Kaua'i, where her father worked.

"We got used to the smell," she said.

Today, she lives on the east side of the island at Wailua Homesteads, and works as property manager and broker in charge for A&B Properties. She manages the company's Kaua'i properties and handles land sales and agricultural and commercial leasing.

She said her family's modest roots and the blessings they enjoy today have driven her to be involved, and to involve her family, in the community.

"I feel it's just my way of giving back," she said.

She serves on the Salvation Army advisory board for the island, and helps with programs for children at her church, the Kapa'a Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ, formerly the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

She is on the state Highway Safety Council, the board of Kaua'i Medical Clinic, the Kaua'i Workforce Investment Board, the Contractors Association of Kaua'i board, and the Kaua'i Board of Realtors.

She also is involved in the Kamehameha Schools Association of Kaua'i, the Job Service Employer Committee and the Rotary Club of West Kaua'i.

It all makes for a busy schedule. Trinette said her husband, Wes, prefers to stay out of the limelight, but offers to help with the programs of the various organizations. So do her boys, Donovan, now at Kamehameha Schools on O'ahu, and Kawika, a student at Chiefess Kamakahelei Middle School.

"It has almost become, not a chore, but one of our family traditions," she said.

McMillan couldn't say enough about Kaui. "She has extensive community service ... besides being an excellent, caring mother who tries her best to take care of her kids," she said. "And I think it's the whole combined effect of Trinette being so humble about it all. She doesn't try to call attention to herself."

Young Mother Representative Kathy Ho of Pearl City, with husband Kyle, son Ammon, 4, and daughter Alexandria, 6. Ho makes “family time” special each Monday. Cory Lum • The Honolulu Advertiser

Every Monday night for an hour or two, Kathy Ho's family sits down together and plays games, reads stories, or sing songs — a ritualized "family time" the kids can count on every week. It doesn't mean books aren't read before bed every night, or songs aren't sung at other times, but this is a special night that always comes first.

"We try not to plan anything else for that night," said Ho, 28, of Pearl City. "We'll just have fun together as a family."

While Ho's ideas may not necessarily be unique, the combination of her commitment to her children, her ideas about good parenting, and her concerns about keeping the family spiritually and emotionally centered came together in the right mix to have the Hawai'i Association of American Mothers name her its new Hawai'i Young Mother of the Year.

"I think it's her quiet, calm strength without being overt and aggressive, that stood out," said McMillan. "She has worked in the community to make a difference ,and the jury thought she would represent Hawai'i well."

The organization is dedicated to strengthening the moral and

spiritual foundations of the home; Ho's commitment to both resonates through her life.

"I'm trying to give them love and support and teach them high standards and values," she said of her two children, 6-year-old Alexandria and 4-year-old Ammon. "They need to have a sense of security and standards and values so they can be good people."

With the full support of her husband, Kyle, she quit work as a special education teacher when her daughter was eight months old, realizing that the demands of her job were taking away from her commitment to her child. She's still at home.

"I decided I wasn't doing her any justice, so I wanted to stay home full-time, which I wouldn't trade for anything," she said. That means Ho is there for every question, every problem, every moment of delight. She sets the tone about TV (almost none, except by special permission; as a result, they love books); about eating meals together (definitely, every night); and how discipline works (time-outs for both children and mom).

"Step out of the situation, take a deep breath, and look at what's really happening," said Ho. "Then maybe you'll see that what you got upset over isn't worth losing your temper." Later, she said, "we'll talk about what's going on and fix the situation and start all over again."

Assistant features editor Esme Infante Nii contributed to these reports.