Kaua'i domestic victims urged to get help

By Jan TenBruggencate
Advertiser KauaÎi Bureau

LIHU'E, Kaua'i — A suspected killer-rapist has attacked three women on Kaua'i in the past year, killing two, but family violence killed as many in the same period, and injured many more.

Ultimately, although many people focus on the danger from a single violent attacker still at large, the larger danger to women in the community is not from strangers on the beach or on the street.

It is from people they know, often in their own homes.

"It's really horrifying how many emergency room visits are from family violence, not stranger violence," said Virginia Beck, a nurse practitioner who last year organized a community safety walk on Kaua'i's West Side. The walk was prompted by concerns about a serial rapist who killed two and attacked and severely injured a third woman, but Beck said the larger goal was to remind women that there are risks in familiar surroundings as well as in the out of doors.

She urges women to heed warning signs.

"We're only one risky decision away from safety. We really do have an instinct for safety if we listen to it," she said.

Both of the women killed in domestic violence attacks last year were in the process of leaving their partners, which is perhaps the most dangerous period in a relationship, said Nancy Peterson, director of family violence programs for the YWCA of Kaua'i.

Miu Lan Esposo-Aguiar, 49, died a year ago from severe burns after her husband poured gasoline on her and set her on fire. Gregory Aguiar was sentenced earlier this year to life in prison for the murder.

In December, Michelle Ramos, 26, was serving drinks at the restaurant where she worked when her estranged boyfriend appeared and stabbed her to death. An autopsy tallied 17 knife wounds. Attacker Ryan Masumoto, the father of Ramos' 15-month-old daughter, was found hours later, having hanged himself from a tree.

"If you look at it as an issue of control, if you are leaving, they are losing control," Peterson said.

The violent deaths are the most visible signs of the domestic violence problem, most of which remains underground.

"There is the shame factor. Heaven forbid you should tell the secrets of the family. And when injured woman comes to the emergency room, a lot of the time, (the abuser is) bringing her in. She's not going to report it," Peterson said.

The Kaua'i Police Department is converting a grant-financed position coordinating domestic violence to a regular county-financed staff position within the department. "That's how important it is to us," said Deputy Police Chief Wilfred Ihu.

Peterson said victims unwilling to involve the police department can seek shelter or counseling through the YWCA Crisis Center. Crisis workers are available to meet in confidential locations if the victim prefers, she said. They will not involve police without the permission of the victim. Call the crisis hot line at 245-6362 , 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

"We can help victims identify what their options are," she said. "We need them to know that they don't deserve this, and there is help available."

Women can use a number of clues — Peterson calls them red flags — to identify potentially hazardous situations and partners.

• Someone who isolates their partner from friends, co-workers and sources of support.
• Partners who are extremely jealous.
• Men who speak in derogatory terms about their mothers, sisters or women in general.
• Men who insist on rigid sex roles, with women locked in domestic roles and men in positions of authority.
• Animal abuse. There is a correlation between people who abuse animals and who abuse family members, Peterson said.