For Better, For Worse
Couple slowly crossing tasks off to-do lists for the big day

By Connie Soga

Connie Soga has finished folding her 1,000 origami cranes for her wedding. Her fiance, Bret Moore, did the 1,001st. Richard Ambo • The Honolulu Advertiser

With a little over six months to go till our wedding, the planning is getting easier, but the execution of our plans is slow.

Connie

Accomplishments this month: I finished folding my 1,000 origami cranes, and I did them all by myself, in just over three months (Bret is folding No. 1,001). How did I do it? You set small and realistic goals. My goal was to fold 10 cranes a day, every day, until they were all finished. When I first started folding cranes, it just seemed impossible — there were so many. But doing 10 a day was workable, and the days where I felt that I could have done more than 10 balanced out the days when I didn't want to fold any at all.

Another big project this month was selecting and ordering the bridesmaids' dresses and shoes. We worked out a really good system: We each expressed our conditions.æI had two: The dress had to be burgundy, and it had to be floor length. They wanted a dress that they could wear again, one that was elegant, and not something with big puffy sleeves that screams "bridesmaid!"

With all the conditions on the table, I let them pick the dress and the price. Of course I had final say, but they came up with a really nice dress that met all of our conditions.æThere were no fights about the price or the style, and they appreciated having input.æIt took the stress off of me and forced them to work together.

Things to do: OK, so I accomplished only two things this month, but they were necessary. Obviously, there are still a lot of things we haven't doneæ— tuxedo rentals, groomsmen gifts and rehearsal-dinner planning . The great big things we haven't nailed down yet are the hotel and airfare for all the family. We still can't get an exact arrival and departure date from most of them, which makes the hotel and airfare thing kind of hard. If they don't give us this information soon, they will have to swim here for the wedding.

Finds: The girls and I found that right now is a great time to look for bridesmaid dresses because it's also prom season. Every store has dresses, and in a few weeks every store is going to have an after-prom sale.

We also found a company called Alfred Angelo that carries lots of nice bridesmaid dresses. You can find their selections in any major bride magazine. What is nice about this line is that next to each picture a dress, they list the colors that they come in. It eliminates the frustration of wondering if that dress you like comes in the color you want.

We also found a good place for wedding invitations — Paperie in Kahala Mall. They have every invitation catalog imaginable and they have a nice little sitting area.æ

Flops: Most of the national bride magazines advertise lots of wedding stores and companies that are not in Hawai'i. How frustrating it was to see a nice dress then not find anyone in the state who carries it.

I was told that dresses can be ordered and shipped here, but that's a little scary if we don't even get to try them on first. We did better going to stores, trying on existing dresses and figuring out colors and sizes from there.

Lessons learned: I managed to avoid a really ugly situation with Bret, our families and my bridesmaids by laying out who pays for what and coming to agreement early on in the planning stage. With Bret, it was simple: We laid everything out one night, writing down the division of expenses. With my bridesmaids, I gave them each a sheet with questions on it and it asked them what they would feel comfortable spending on a dress and shoes. Because I let them pick their own dresses and they had a say in the matter, they are happy with what they are paying for. Meanwhile, our families are satisfied with the expenses we have asked them to pick up, and they are working with us on getting everyone to Hawai'i for our big day.

Bret

Accomplishments: One of my accomplishments was folding that crane number 1,001. It was difficult. I am amazed that Connie did 1,000 of them by herself. We made an appointment for mounting. I also picked the design that the cranes will be mounted in.

Another big accomplishment was that my best man was able to confirm that he will definately be able to make our wedding.æHe is in the middle of transferring to Colorado from Kentucky for the Army; for a while he wasn't sure where he would be stationed (he wanted to come back to Hawai'i.)æ

Things to do: I haven't dealt with the whole tuxedo rental thing yet because I am still confirming who is coming and who is going to be in the wedding. It's different with the guys than it is with the girls. Connie picked her bridesmaids, matron and maid of honor in a week and had confirmation immediately. My side was about being able to make the trip to Hawai'i, and three of the five are in the military. One of my groomsmen is leaving for military training for five months and is coming back right before the wedding. æ

I haven't finalized the groomsmen gifts.æI've got it narrowed down to a couple of things, and I think I'll have this detail completed by next month. I'm also still tasting cakes because I haven't figured out the flavor I want yet. æ

Finds and flops: Most of the finds are stuff that Connie is discovering. She is the one out there finding most of the deals. She has been lucky in reducing the cost on a lot of things simply by doing research and shopping around.

Lessons learned: Connie and I filled out some "enter to win" things — magazine subscriptions and Internet Web site registrations for this wedding. And now we are getting inundated with wedding advertisements from all over the nation. By tracking over the Internet, we've discovered that our names have been sold to a lot of third-party companies. We've been sold out!