If it stinks, sometimes you have to say so

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

This "no talk stink" thing we have in our culture, it's mostly a good thing.

Mostly.

There are times when it serves us well.

It prevents many fights and confrontations, it keeps private matters private, it gives those who have made mistakes a chance to redeem themselves.

But sometimes, our "no talk stink" policy means bad stuff keeps on happening, people get away with truly unacceptable behavior and nothing ever gets better.

Imagine a group of Makiki residents storming a City Council meeting, confronting Andy Mirikitani and saying, "You were found guilty of theft! How dare you sit there like nothing's wrong! Get out!"

That would never happen. Not here. Not in public.

But the truth is, when we say we don't "talk stink," we're fooling ourselves.

No, what we mean when we say "no talk stink" is don't say anything negative about somebody IN PUBLIC or when you can be quoted. But if it's in private, let it rip.

Respect for privacy

Which brings me to University of Hawai'i volleyball star Lily Kahumoku.

When 20-year-old Kahumoku announced she would be taking a year off for "personal reasons," for the most part, we as a community left it at that.

We didn't demand to know more. We're considerate and conscientious enough to respect the privacy of a young woman who, even though she's a local hero, has the right to expect her personal decisions won't be subject to public scrutiny.

But privately, there has been whispering and speculation. We're a community that would, I believe, vehemently disapprove of a reporter chasing down Kahumoku at her family's home in Alabama to get the "real story," regardless of how innocuous it may be, and thank goodness for that.

But at the same time, we're terribly niele, and if we don't have real information, shucks, we'll live off rumors and make up stuff on our own.

The 'no talk stink' rules

Perhaps we need to re-examine our policy on talking stink. Perhaps it shouldn't be "no talk stink, except when everyone else is talking stink and never above a whisper," but "no talk stink unless you know the facts, are willing to stand up and say it out loud and believe that saying something negative will result in a positive outcome."

I think we're all in agreement: Leave Lily alone. But when something is stink, like a crooked politician or a gross violation of public trust, we should talk about it, out loud, with clarity of purpose, to affect real change where change is needed.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.