If only those slippers could talk

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

It's not keeping me up at night or anything, but I do think about it from time to time — mull it over, consider the options, try to draw conclusions.

See, I'm noticing it more and more. Especially on H-1 in the Punahou area.

The lost slippers on the side of the road.

One side.

So sad.

Theories don't jibe

I wonder how they get there. It seems odd to me that slippers would end up on the side of a freeway. If it was a pedestrian area, I could understand. We've all had the experience of walking along and having our $1.99 Longs special black-and-grays bite the dust. We know the feeling of dismay in that moment when the duct tape, staple, twist tie or super glue gives out.

But on the side of H-1? I can't figure it out.

Maybe the slippers got forgotten on the roof of the car at the beach, you know, when you're dusting your feet off before you get inside. If that's the case, how come they're on H-1, miles away from a beach park?

Maybe kids toss them out the window for sport. Possible, but they're not all kid-sized, and I can't picture kids tossing their parents' slipper out the window. That would be way too naughty for even the naughtiest kids I know, so that theory doesn't hold up.

Maybe they get lost elsewhere, in drainage ditches or sidewalks or parks and somehow get carried along to the edge of the freeway by the whoosh of traffic, the way ocean currents pull flotsam into Hakioawa Bay on Kaho'olawe.

But that seems like one of those theories that comes to mind only on a restless night when you've had too many Frappucinos.

Chalk it up as a mystery

The sight of the one-side slipper, lonely, lost, forgotten, always makes me sad. I think of the other side, where it might be, how useless it is by itself.

It has been suggested (that is, this not my joke, OK?) that a support group be formed: Slippers Without Partners.

It has also recently been pointed out to me that the one-side slipper on the side of the freeway isn't nearly as sad as the one-side SHOE on the side of the freeway, especially since the going rate for slippers (not on special) is $6.99 a pair while a pair of Nikes will run you a good $69.95.

I've asked around. No one I know can ever remember losing a slipper on the H-1, H-2 or H-3 even.

In fact, most people will lapse into lengthy remembrances of slippers they lost forever after someone made a switch at a family party, but no one seems to recall losing a slipper on the freeway.

It's a mystery.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-8172.