For Better, For Worse
Search for answers leads to friend and future wife

By John Toillion

John and Diana Toillion

My situation was like that of many male teenagers — full of girl problems. From ages 13 to 16, I was in love with the girl of my dreams; however, she bailed out when she felt we were getting too close at a young age. From ages 17 to 18, I was reluctant to date and spent most of my time moping around with that "woe is me" look on my face.

I was desperately in need of someone to share my problems with — make that "dump" my problems on. It was not easy for me to confide in just anyone; after all, I was a jock, and jocks don't let others know they have problems, especially girl problems!

I first met Diana at a weekly church youth group meeting in the middle of our senior year of high school. My primary purpose for attending youth group was to use it as an excuse to stay out until 9 p.m. during the week. Little did I know, however, that this weekly meeting would end up changing my life forever, and Diana's, too!

During our casual meeting, I soon realized Diana was a good listener, so I asked to walk her home afterwards to finish a discussion on whatevers. She lived across town, and I knew it would allow me plenty of time to finish our discussion. I soon found myself dumping all my "woe is me" girl problems on her and asking her for advice. I felt comfortable baring my soul to her since she was an "outsider" and could give me an unbiased opinion.

The walks home continued for several weeks. Diana listened and consoled me, never once telling me what I should and should not do.

It was during the 20th walk that all of sudden it dawned on me: Diana was exactly what I was looking for in a relationship. After all, she was easy to talk to and had a warm, beautiful smile that was very encouraging to me. She was beautiful, as well.

While I may be a slow learner (duh!), one month away from graduation I decided to ask her out on a formal date. Our relationship continued to develop over the next three years, and finally we were married on Nov. 24, 1967. That was more than 34 years ago. Today she continues to be a good listener and continues to allow me to "dump" all my burdens on her. Oh, yeah, she's as beautiful as well — inside as well as out.

The Toillions, whose 1967 wedding was in Eagle Grove, Iowa, now live in Mililani.

For Better, For Worse is a periodic column written by readers, with their stories and advice on weddings and marriage. Write: For Better, For Worse, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170. Articles and photos submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.