Movie Scene
At the Movies: 'Scary Movie 2'

By Christy Lemire
AP Entertainment Writer

"Scary Movie 2," a Dimension Films release, is rated R for sexual content, drugs and language. Running time: 88 minutes.

No, wait. That would entail spending money you could put to much better use on hot dogs, beer and fireworks.

"Scary Movie 2" opens almost a year to the day after the first "Scary Movie," and it's an obnoxious example of quickly pumping out a sequel purely for profit. But why not cash in? The original was the surprise hit of last summer, making about $270 million worldwide.

Newsweek reported that director Keenen Ivory Wayans was editing the film as late as last week, and it shows. Although the budget was about $45 million " twice as much as the original " it looks like it was slapped together.

Maybe that's intentional " maybe it's supposed to look like a cheap horror flick. Nah, that would require too much thought and planning.

This is a movie that doesn't care that characters who died the first time are back with no explanation, one in which the first bathroom joke comes within five minutes of the opening credits. It's a mindless spoof, demanding no thought from its audience.

Like the original, "Scary Movie 2" isn't so much a movie as it is a litany of pop culture references from classic horror films such as "The Exorcist" to current action flicks like "Charlie's Angels" " even jokes about Firestone tires, Florida ballots and Jerri Manthey, the vixen from the second season of "Survivor."

When a talking bird chirps, "You ARE the weakest link " goodbye!" it's impossible not to cringe.

In a send-up of "The Haunting," a scheming college professor (Tim Curry) assembles a group of students at a mansion for what he says is a weekend scientific experiment. (There's even a buxom character named Theo, just like the one Catherine Zeta-Jones played in "The Haunting.")

Marlon and Shawn Wayans (Keenen's brothers, who co-wrote the script) are back from the original as the perpetually stoned Shorty and the bi-curious Ray, as is Anna Faris, who played clueless heroine Cindy.

Chris Masterson, who's so funny as the oldest brother on Fox television's "Malcolm in the Middle," is wasting his time here as a student who's after Cindy, and Tori Spelling merely jiggles as a young woman who falls in love with the ghost who's haunting the house.

Chris Elliott is good for a laugh when he turns up as the haunted mansion's gnarled, deranged caretaker. But his weirdo shtick gets old fast, especially when he wanders into Tom Green territory by shoving his entire arm up a turkey, then fondling and licking it.

It's really embarrassing to watch James Woods play a predatory Catholic priest in an "Exorcist" spoof " although it would have just as bad seeing Marlon Brando, who took the role first before bowing out when he became sick. There's a moment when Woods' Father McFeely screams and grunts, his face contorted in pain, as if he's exorcising the demon from the possessed Megan (Natasha Lyonne in the Linda Blair role). Then the movie cuts to a wide shot of him sitting on a toilet.

And a projectile vomiting contest among McFeely, Megan and another priest (the ubiquitous Andy Richter) couldn't have stopped with each person spewing green puke once; no, they have to do it several times.

The original "Scary Movie" promised it would have no sequel. The ending of this movie offers the promise of a "Scary Movie 3."

That's not funny. That's scary.