Same-sex couples on the rise
By Yasmin Anwar
Advertiser Staff Writer
Not once during their dozen years of evening promenades along Waikiki Beach have Ward Stewart, 71, and George Vye, 65, felt comfortable holding hands.
Jeff Widener • The Honolulu Advertiser
So when the US. Census form hit their doorstep with a new system to identify same-sex, live-in couples, the longtime duo were only too pleased to declare themselves, at least to the U.S. government.
Suzanne King, left, and Tambry Young are the parents of 20-month-old Shylar, who was born to Young in 1999.
"Now we begin to be counted," said Stewart, a retired nurse from New York who has been with Vye for 44 years. "We are part of the fabric of humanity, part of the history ... all the way to the beginning, and we cannot be removed carelessly."
Lesbian parents Tambry Young and Suzanne King, say they, too, have avoided public displays of affection in their 20 years together. But overall, they feel life today is easier for same-sex couples, a growing community in Hawai'i, according to the 2000 Census.
"We're one step closer to being considered 'normal,' " said King, 41, of Kalihi, an executive with the Honolulu Board of Realtors.
Though many gay and lesbian couples still feel excluded from the mainstream, Census figures released last week indicate their profile is on the rise in Hawai'i.
The data shows that 2,389 Hawai'i households are occupied by same-sex couples. That's 10.2 percent of those with unmarried partners.
The 1990 Census counted 602 same-sex couples in Hawai'i. But in the 2000 Census, the question was more specific.
"It's always been, 'Do you have roommates? Are you married, single or divorced? The question has never directly been asked," said Richard Rivera, 36, a Honolulu computer worker who has lived with his partner, Steve Evans, 42, for five years.
For some, the snapshot of Hawai'i's growing same-sex community is also a bitter reminder of the last decade's battle over legalizing marriage in the state.
Three same-sex couples sued the state after being denied marriage licenses in 1990, and a state judge issued a ruling that could have paved the way for Hawai'i to recognize same-sex marriages. But after a heated campaign, two thirds of Hawai'i voters in 1998 approved a constitutional amendment authorizing the state Legislature to limit marriage to heterosexual couples.
"When they got into the voting booths, we found out what was in their hearts," Stewart said. "You get kind of seduced into pineapple juice and aloha, and you scratch the surface and there's lemon juice."
Still, many say Hawai'i's aloha has embraced same-sex couples, particularly those with children.
Take Carolyn Mori and Lora Day of Makakilo, who made news last year as one of the first lesbian couples in Hawai'i to be granted equal parenting rights.
Mori, 43, is the biological mother of 2-year-old Kaila, who was conceived through artificial insemination. Day, 36, is also recognized as Kaila's legal guardian.
When the Census form came, they were already primed to identify themselves as a same-sex couple, after receiving e-mails from advocates urging same-sex couples to be counted and "make a difference."
Day, an Indiana native who was stationed in Hawai'i with the Navy, says they've had nothing but positive experiences in Hawai'i. Every first Saturday of the month, they join members of a same-sex parent support group for outings to the zoo and various parks.
Day wishes there was a more accurate legal term to describe her lover: "I might use 'girlfriend', 'roommate,' or 'partner', but I wish I could just say 'my wife,' " she said.
That issue has also nagged King and Young, who tied the knot in a religious ceremony at a Unitarian Church in 1990. They are the parents of 20-month-old Shylar, who was born to Young in 1999.
When they tell people they're "partners," they sometimes get mistaken for business partners.
"We're life partners," Young said, with a fierce flash of pride.
