Fast-forward to the morning after the Academy Awards. What are we talking about?

Not the winners for best score or art direction, and probably not the best director or even best picture.

We're talking about who looked great, who looked sexy and who had a fashion emergency.

"The red carpet really is the show," says Joan Rivers, who dishes this stuff with daughter Melissa Rivers each year as E! Entertainment Television's resident fashionistas.

Their commentaries have made the mother-daughter duo the most sought-after and most feared women on the awards circuit.

It's a Catch-22 for the stars: If they stop to chat, they risk ridicule. If they don't, they could miss great exposure and even a Golden Hanger Award, the prize the Rivers women bestow on stars they feel are style-worthy.

Joan's advice to celebrities: Don't take her comments so seriously.

"All we do is a job. We never do it with malice, we do it with humor. And people making $20 million a picture shouldn't care that I don't think they should be wearing a bustier," she says.

Melissa adds, "We just say what we would always say to each other about who's wearing what and who looks good, but now we just do it in front of the camera."

Melissa, 33, who produces the "Fashion Review" shows, says that mega-watt stars have whispered in confidence that they picked out their dresses with the commentaries in mind.

The pair says no one does the red carpet better than Sharon Stone.