Middle-aged couple finds love online/Unconventional dating worked better for pair
By Sharon Gibson
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| Ken and Sharon Gibson worked at the same place but didn’t start dating until they met online. Both disliked the "dating scene."
Sharon Gibson photo |
These questions, which usually run with the For Better, For Worse column, caught my eye about one year ago as Ken and I were planning our wedding.
A great love story? Yes, I think our story could be called exactly that.
Both of us had had previous experiences with marriage. Life had presented us with many challenges; we were both people who were much wiser from those experiences. Ken, who had been living here the past 17 years, moved here from Colorado. Life circumstances transplanted me from the Midwest to here, the place "I have always loved," about four years ago.
If you are calculating our ages, yes, Ken and I are in that "middle age" bracket. Those of you who are single and in that age bracket know about the "first date syndrome," and that the dating scene really does not appeal to you. It is something you did at least once in your life and, no, you really would not prefer to do it again. We both felt that way!
At the same time, we each knew that marriage was for us; after all, both of us had already spent most of our adult life in committed relationships.
So what do you do when you are middle-aged and back into the dating scene?
We both had tried the typical: meet people at work, go out with friends, etc. After about a year of trying dating the "conventional" way, I decided to get online. I got on one of the online dating services and posted my "profile."
What I did not know was that Ken was also online; and little did either of us know that our lifelong partner was not only on the Web, but in our workplace. Yes, we both worked at the same place!
We had spoken to each other in the hall, sat and chatted for awhile with each other. However, neither one of us dreamed we would be out on a date together a few months later!
What was in my profile? My profile was a filtering process for me: I was filtering out all of the things I did not want and being very clear about the things in a relationship that I did want. It is not just about what you want, but it is also about what you are willing to give back in a relationship.
When Ken first read my profile, he thought it was an obstacle course. But something kept drawing him back to my profile. So he did it: an ounce of pressure, one click of the mouse and a message was sent to me.
Within a short time, we had our first date, a hiking date to Manoa Falls on Jan. 3, 2000. I describe the first date as this: "It was as if I had always known him; I knew things about him that I had no way of knowing."
As we were sitting up at Manoa Falls and talking, Ken had this incredible urge to put his arms around me, and when he did, he remembers the feeling of having held me before and wanting to put his arms around me every day of his life. We have been together ever since that day.
Our wedding was March 31 last year and it took place at Magic Island. And magical, it was!
The whole week it had been raining; it was windy and wet. Ken surprised me at the door with a limo ride to Magic Island. On the way down to Magic Island, I leaned over to Ken and said, "I know it will stop raining. Our wedding will be sunshiney and perfect."
"Oh, yeah?" he stated with a questioning look, but I was certain that it would stop raining. As we stepped out of the limo, one of our friends greeted us and said, "Wow, this is strange: Five minutes ago, it was windy and rainy, and look at it now! It is sunshiney and beautiful!"
The wedding ceremony was beautiful, shared with a few friends and blessed by the Rev. Julia McKenna-Dubin, who said that none of her weddings ever got rained out!
So how has the first year of marriage been? Wonderful! Yes, there have been a few moments of "intense fellowship," but our wedding vows keep us focused on our goals and dreams.
We wrote our own wedding vows, which included supporting, nurturing, caring for each other; as well as each of us making a conscious effort to choose joy, love, peace, hope, health, happiness, abundance and love every single moment of every single day.
We also make it a point to be the best we can be - not only for ourselves, but for life itself. Making those conscious choices is what makes us such a great couple and business partners! Are we happy? Just see us together and you will see the love and the joy of living in our eyes.
Ken and Sharon Gibson of Honolulu have a business in e-commerce and teach business classes at a local college.
Do you have a great love story? What are your best stories or advice on marriage and making the magic last? Do you have a story from your wedding or wedding-planning advice? Send your letter of 500-750 words with your city and phone number to: For Better, For Worse, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170. Sending a photo is optional.
