Expressions Of Faith
Enjoying worship of God

By Yolanda Miller
Special to The Advertiser

When I was a youth, Sunday morning church services were redeemed only by the guilty pleasure of sitting with my friends and scribbling our "conversations" on the bulletin during the sermon while my father watched disapprovingly from the choir loft.

Worship, as it was called, carried very little of a sense of the sacred for me, and even less of a sense of connecting with the Almighty. Deep down, I thought it was mostly a waste of time.

Little did I know that I was right, in a sense.

When we use the word "worship" in other, nonreligious contexts, it has a much different connotation. A classic-car fiend will go to great lengths to acquire an Aston Martin, then spend many a weekend tinkering, polishing, upgrading and maintaining it. A fan who worships Brad Pitt will scour the celebrity pages for the most trivial mentions, establish pictorial shrines and faithfully attend his worst flops.

To worship something or someone in that sense means expending, even exhausting, energy and resources on it. Those who do not share the same passion may deem these expenditures a waste of time.

But true worship is not about "doing things." It is actually about being. Worship is giving our most precious commodity: time. For fans and enthusiasts, the greatest joy springs from spending time with the object or person at the center of their worship. The acts are secondary, the relationship is primary.

A couple years ago I began to discover what this meant. In a seminary class, I was assigned to go on a spiritual retreat, but had no directions as to what that entailed. So I mapped out a spiritual to-do list: hike and pray; stop at the lake and do Bible study; sing worship songs; journal; repeat. When I arrived at my mountain retreat, I eagerly began my "Five Easy Steps to Worshipping God."

About halfway through, I finally realized what was happening. Instead of actually engaging God and communing with Him, I was hiding behind my to-do list. I heard God say to me, "Be still ... and know that I am God!" (Psalms 46:10) Actually, I heard mostly the "Be still!" part.

At that point, I put everything away. I lay down on the dock, dangled my legs in the lake and let go. I said, "OK, God, here I am."

I felt a small, still impression in my heart that said, "Finally."

I thought, "I feel like I'm wasting time. I'm not doing anything."

God answered, "That's the point. You're supposed to waste time with me. Remember when you used to scribble notes in church? That was a waste of time, but you and your friends loved just hanging out, being together. That's what I want for you and me."

So for the rest of the afternoon, I hung out with God.

Yolanda Miller is director of junior high and young adults at First Presbyterian Church of Honolulu.

Expressions of Faith is a column written by pastors, priests, lay workers and other leaders in faith and spirituality. E-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or call 525-8036 to contribute.