Fun House
Sunday school youngster assumes God is married

By Leann Hardwick
'Ewa Beach

My son is now grown, an airman stationed at Hickam Air Force Base, but I will never forget some of the funny and profound things he said when he was a child, around 5 or 6 years old:

• One day after Sunday school class, he came home and asked me about the Holy Trinity.

Wow, I thought, how do you explain to a 5-year-old about something so complex?

"Well," I said, "it's like there are three of them, and . . ."

"I know," he interrupted. "God, God's wife, and who else?"

• Another time, I reminded him one day that it was my grandmother's birthday.

"How old is she?" he asked.

"I think 83," I answered.

"Wow!" he said. "That's on the way to 99!"

• Not long after that, when he met a new teacher, I tried to explain after school the difference between "Miss" and "Mrs." His new teacher was a "Miss."

"Since she's not married," I said, "maybe you could marry her when you grow up."

"No way," he said. "She'll be dead by then!"

Has your child said something hilarious? Do you have a funny story about your spouse or other family members? The best Fun House anecdotes of 2001 will be reprinted in the 'Ohana section after the end of the year, and the writers will receive Advertiser logo items.

If you have a true, humorous, unpublished short story about your family or a family-related topic, send it with your name, city and telephone number to: Fun House, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170. Enter as often as you like. Preference is given to stories 200 words in length or less.