honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, May 25, 2001

Hawaiian Style
Son's prom date just like girl dad married

By Wade Kilohana Shirkey

It was bad enough that Nicholas Salanoa's first choice for a date to his St. Louis senior prom turned him down. And how rude: It was his own mother.

Nicholas Salanoa and his mother, Colette, were named King and Queen of the St. Louis School senior prom.

Salanoa family photo

"I had a couple of girls in mind (to take)," explained Nicholas, 17. But during a "boring school lecture," he remembered that his mom hadn't gone to her own senior prom. "Mom did a lot for me growing up. I thought this might be something to remember," said Nicholas.

And with his graduation fast approaching — it's tomorrow — he realized that for both him and his mother, "this would be our first — and last — senior prom."

"I didn't have a prom," said mom Colette, 37. "No one asked me. I went to the mall that night so I wouldn't think about it."

Still, she wasn't so quick to accept this, her first prom bid.

"My first answer was 'No!' He'd be the only one to have his mother there. This was to be their night," she said.

"So, what?" friends teased the husky, personable former football wide receiver. "Cannot find one date your own age?"

Everyone, including teachers, pitched in, thinking Nicholas needed help. His response to some of the ribbing was occasionally "uncharitable."

Nicholas wasn't the only one to get some good-natured ribbing as a result of the prom pairing.

"'The Prom Queen — that's my name," said Colette, laughing. "I get razzed — in Project Grad meetings they say, 'OK, for the Prom Queen!'" Colette responds with a queenly bow and sweeping hand gesture.

"Are you really going to go to the prom with your son?" friends delicately asked. "Do you really think this is the thing to do? How will this affect Nick?"

The questions bounced around in her head, as well.

"I even approached (counselor's aide) 'Kumu Kalei' (Mahaulu), at work." With tears in her eyes, she proclaimed it the "sweetest thing" she'd ever heard. "He's the nicest boy," kumu said of Nicholas. Her advice to Colette: "You go, sister."

Husband Chris agreed. "I want you to go, wife," he said. Nicholas settled the question. "I don't care," he said. "You are my (choice). I'm going to take you."

But not before setting down a few ground rules. "First, you're my date, not my mom," he said, explaining there would be none of that "hands-on-the-hips, 'Now Nickie!' business."

"If I do something (you don't like)," he said, "look the other way or laugh."

As a possibly ignoble end to an otherwise perfect evening, when it was over, mom, like Cinderella, had to disappear — Nicholas wanted to hang with his friends. But she got to leave in his prized car instead of a pumpkin chariot.

Now all that stood between the proud mother and her magical prom evening were the proverbial prom gown — and getting Nicholas to teach her to dance.

"I knew every single girl there would be Size 1 — and (my gown) couldn't be too "hoochy mama," said the Keolu Elementary health aide.

She solved the designer problem with basic black.

As for dancing, she managed to hide between Nicholas and football player Lyle Maiava on the Big Night.

"She looked like the 'Dancing Queen,'" said Nicholas proudly afterward.

"Everyone (at the prom) really accepted me," said Colette. "At no time did they make me feel unwanted. That was one of the highlights."

But there was to be one other. At the announcement of Prom King and Queen from stage, one student's love for his mother was compared to biblical reverence for the Virgin Mother.

"He didn't care what his friends thought," came the words over the loudspeaker.

Then, said Colette, "the tears just started" as she realized she had not only joined her beloved son on this important night — but as king and queen of the prom as well.

"I was so numb I couldn't walk," she said of her reaction.

"That's OK, mom," Nicholas told her. "I'll carry you."

In retrospect, said Nicholas, "I had a blast. My friends thought (mom) was cool."

Colette agreed and thought maybe she wouldn't mind repeating the experience.

Turning to her youngest, Patrick, 13, she said, "So what, going take mom to your prom, too?"

"No way!" he said.

Wade Kilohana Shirkey is kumu of Na Hoaloha O Ka Roselani No'eau hula halau. He writes on Island Life.