Expressions of Faith
Words full of praise important
By Allen DeLong
Special to The Advertiser
Now is an opportune time for us to pay particular attention to how we express our appreciation to those closest to us.
We all know the feeling of putting in a hard day's work, going home, then being expected to fix a meal, cut the lawn or clean the house. Busy and stressed, we easily complain that our family and others don't appreciate what we do.
When I ask those around me if they tell their loved ones that they love and appreciate them, often I hear, "They understand that I love them; I don't usually have to say it." I call this silent praise.
However, what I think we all need is spoken praise. We need to hear words of support, approval, gratitude and love. There is always something we can praise in others.
Children especially need to hear words of praise and approval for what they have accomplished or for who they are. Children learn how to express their feelings when they hear words of love and appreciation around them. When children hear their parents say "I love you" to each other, or when they hear a sincere "thank you" following a small act that they did, they witness how they can let out their feelings of appreciation and love.
People say men don't express their feelings. The way I see it, men often do not know how to express their feelings. From a young age, boys in particular have to see how expressions of praise and love are given, and also need to hear and feel those same expressions themselves.
Silent praise is too often an excuse for us "forgetting" to express praise and appreciation because we are focused on ourselves. To give spoken praise means we step out of ourselves, place ourselves in another person's situation, feel what that person may feel and use words of praise, gratitude, support or love to show that someone the appreciation they deserve and need to hear.
I invite you to think about expressing more praise in your family, your work, and your life in general.
You might be questioned as to why you are giving praise, especially if you have not bestowed much in the past. A good response would be that you simply feel like telling those around you what a terrific person they are, what a fantastic job they are doing or just how much you appreciate having that person in your life.
In giving and receiving spoken praise, self-worth increases, confidence is strengthened and people smile more often. Take an inventory of how much praise or how many compliments you give as opposed to criticism. Experiment with new ways and search for opportunities to give praise. Offer more praise, and others will likely want to offer more in return.
Allen DeLong is president of Saint Louis School.
Expressions of Faith welcomes submissions from pastors, priests, lay workers and other leaders in faith and spirituality. Submissions should not exceed 550 words. Mail to: Faith Page, Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802, e-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8174. For more information, call 525-8036.
