For Better, for Worse
Some afterglow musings on their 'perfect' wedding

By Kainani Meleana Malulani Kahunanui Inouye

Russ Louis Sadao Inouye and Kainani Meleana Malulani Kahunanui Inouye

We were married June 10, 2001, at Kaka'ako Waterfront Park. Our reception was held at the Hale Koa Hotel. We accommodated about 400 guests, and our bridal party was a total of 14 (including the bride and groom). People gasp at our numbers, but we had always envisioned a semi-formal wedding on a large scale.

My first piece of advice to anyone planning their wedding is go for the wedding you have always dreamed about as a little girl playing dress-up, flipping through bridal magazines and watching weddings on television. When we first started checking out our options, we thought that our dream wedding was out of the question. But the advice that stuck in our minds was the deciding factor — to "not have any regrets." A wedding is a once in a lifetime event, and you don't want to look back wishing you had done this or that instead. Things do come together in odd ways.

The bridal expo is a must, even going to it more than once. It offers a lot of resources and answers to questions. Ask lots of questions, even if you think they are totally off the wall and bizarre. No question is a stupid question when you are planning an event of a lifetime. Take any brochures that catch your eye and wade through them at home. It's always better to have more options then not enough. We found almost every service for our wedding through a bridal expo, and I would highly recommend services we used.

There are tons of little things that you don't realize you need until you are on that crazy winding road called planning. Take people up on offers to help. Designate family, friends, co-workers who are married or have been in weddings to take care of little details, errands here and there. I tried to be the superwoman who handled it all, but juggling the planning, a full-time job, birthdays, events, pets and everything else that seemed to steal our time left me behind schedule, frustrated and flustered.

Take time to stay sane by taking little breaks. If you get too stressed out, you won't enjoy all the steps you are taking to put the wedding together. Learn to compromise, communicate and listen to each other's ideas and comments. I can happily say that we did not end up at each other's throats over planning the wedding. Cooperation and compromise brought us closer together.

The biggest headache we had was assigning our table seating. If you are having an assigned seating, start as soon as you can! This is a problem for many couples. Start early, because it is more nerve-racking and time-consuming than it seems.

Take time to enjoy your own wedding. Whatever is not done by your wedding day and reception simply isn't going to happen. Enjoy the result of all the hard work that went into planning your day. Stop, enjoy the company of your guests, the entertainment and your new spouse. Sit back, try to remember to eat something, and just indulge in the day. You'll look back and be happy that you stopped fussing about details and enjoyed one of the most important days of your life with one of the most important if not the most important person in your life, your spouse!

Kainani Meleana Malulani Kahunanui Inouye and Russ Louis Sadao Inouye live in Kailua.