Wedding Diary
International tensions add yet another complication
Wedding Diary is a column by Nu'uanu residents Connie Soga, 30 and Bret Moore, 27. The periodic report tracks the couple's progress as they near their Nov. 3 wedding, with about 300 guests, at the Sheraton Waikiki Hotel.
By Connie Soga and Bret Moore
Connie speaks on her ...
State of mind: Since the events of Sept. 11, our spirits have been somewhat somber, with a small cloud of worry and fear over us at a time that would be normally fun and happy for us. Even though Bret and I aren't married yet, I am already being included in the group of military wives and families and sharing in their worries if our soldiers have to deploy. I've had dozens of people ask if Bret is going to get sent away and if we are still going to have a wedding if that happens. I really don't know what would happen. But now this has added to the growing list of things I have to worry about regarding the wedding. Of all the things we had planned for, an absent groom wasn't one of them.
On the small scale of things, I'm worried about the investment of time and money for our wedding and the possibility of having that up in the air if there is no wedding. æOn the bigger picture of things, I'm worried about war, I'm worried that Bret will have to get deployed and that he might not come back if he does. Will Bret get deployed before Nov. 3? It's all possible but very unlikely. But am I concerned about it? You bet I am.
Good and bad experiences: Although some bad things have happened with the attacks, other things have happened for us that have picked up our moods for our wedding. I've just learned that my family table at the reception will include two uncles, two aunts and a cousin from Japan that I haven't seen in over 15 years. I'm so happy that they are taking the time to come to our wedding and spend that special day with us.
The process of getting our RSVPs back was a good experience too. It was kind of fun going to the mailbox the last few weeks to see who sent back their RSVPs. Each day, we were getting between five and 10 response cards back. It's like getting fan mail or a valentine. Most of our guests have replied and we are close to our estimated guest count. People are so nice — a lot of them made a point of telling us how nice they thought our invitations were. It made us feel like all our efforts to select the right invitation and do all the envelopes was worth it.
Another fun thing was selecting our registry. Bret and I only own two things together ... a DVD player and a vacuum cleaner. æEverything else we have is stuff from our single days when we lived on our own. When we first got together, we had two microwaves, two couches, two tables ... two of everything. But over the years, we got rid of the extras. Our registry is with Williams Sonoma and we selected a few "needs" but also a few "wants" because we thought they were cool. We selected Williams Sonoma because they have stores nationwide, their registry is available online (wsweddings.com) and their registry is easy for couples to set up and guests to follow. The registry shows pictures of the items, the cost of the item and if it is available online. Even an Internet idiot can follow this registry (or set one up!) and we had great fun putting our registry together.
I'm also working on the bridesmaid's luncheon I am hosting for the bridesmaids this week. I let them choose among themselves where they wanted lunch and they picked the Mariposa restaurant. I'm not stressed about this small gathering and I'm actually looking forward to it (it's easier to set up a small lunch for five people than a dinner for 300!)
Bret speaks on his ...
State of mind: With the current situation in New York and Washington D.C., all the military is on tip toes about the next step. As a part of that military, I must be ready at the drop of a hat to go anywhere at any time. This is particularly hard for Connie because she expects me to know everything and anything about a possible deployment or what may happen next.
I am kinda nervous about my family traveling and some of my best friends from the Mainland coming over here.
I have told many of them to be safe, keep their eyes open for anything and to arrive early at the airports. With the reduction in the number of flights taking off, I am kinda worried about my family and IF they will even have a flight here. So many things are affected by one senseless act.
With the events of the last couple of weeks and all the repercussions, it is very hard to stay focused on the main issue. Many of my military obligations have taken over many of my other obligations to Connie and my second job.
This is one reason I am glad that Connie and I planned everything way in the beginning and had everything in place before August.
Good and bad experiences: The hardest part about registering for gifts is deciding what you want versus what you really need. I feel that a perfect wedding gift would be a Hummvee, but Connie says that is not a good wedding gift. Just like a woman, go figure! Anyway, there are so many shops out there and so much stuff, it is quite overwhelming.
One problem is that some of the registry places do not list pictures of the gifts, tell you whether the item is in stock or not, quote the prices and so forth. Connie and I have two friends' weddings coming and we recently went to a department store one couple was registered at. The registry didn't list prices and we spent a while hunting around for the items in the store. It was frustrating because some of their registry items were not in stock and we had to find everything on our own in the different sections of the store.
Bret and Connie on ....
Lessons learned: The mere possibility of having to postpone our wedding did put a scare into us, but we learned about something out there that could save our 'okoles financially if it happens: wedding insurance. We had heard of it, but until now we thought it only covered flaky vendors or wedding items not turning out right. But when we looked into it, we were totally surprised at what they cover, and they DO cover military deployment.
We contacted a company called Wedsafe but apparently there are other companies out there that cover every cost of your wedding if one of you gets deployed for military, fire or police duty. The policies are affordable and we were quoted $155 for our entire wedding if Bret gets deployed before the wedding. This would cover all of our deposits, services, attire, entertainment, floral and anything that we had a receipt for that had to do with our wedding.æHowever, Wedsafe doesn't cover Hawai'i right now but expects to offer coverage here in the next few weeks.
Providing that's true, we are signing on. It's a small price to pay for complete coverage and peace of mind if it happens.
The events of the last couple of weeks have taught us that all those days of saving money and contracting early and paying up front for the cake, entertainment, music, M.C. and everything else really helped out.
We have the means to take on a last-minute expense, like wedding insurance, because we took care of everything else already.
