For Better, For Worse
Islamic lecture proves prophetic for Egyptian woman, American man

By Mona Darwich

Michael A. Gatto and Mona Darwich

During high school in an Islamic class lecture, the Egyptian teacher said that if God wanted two people to meet, regardless of how far apart they were or where they were from, God would make it happen. I found that saying fascinating and kept the words in my memory.

Many men asked for my hand, but I refused all because they were not right for me. So I decided never to get married; I wanted to enjoy life as a single woman. By the time I was 20, my parents were worried about my refusals, but I was firm.

In 1995, my brother emigrated to America. In Pennsylvania, he made friends, and one of his friends happen to see a picture of me with him.æMy brother'sæmother-in-law asked Michael if he was interested. Days later, he called my mother and asked if he could get to know me, and if things would go right, we would get married. My family is very traditional.

My mother agreed, and on our first call, we talked for 5 minutes. I did not know what he looked like, but I fell in love with his voice and his confidence.

Afterward, we sent dozens of letters to each other until he went to Marine boot camp in South Carolina; by then we had expressed our love for each other on the phone. Later, when he was finally free from boot camp and school, and after countless love letters, he decided to come and see me in person.

My father picked him up at the Cairo airport, and on our first meeting, it was love at first sight! Two weeks later, we were married. It was December 1996.

We went to California, where we lived for four years, and now we are stationed at Pearl Harbor.

Michael swept me off my feet; I had never imagined I would marry an American or become a Marine wife. We share many things in common, including a belief in Islam and a love of music, even though we come from different backgrounds.æWe appreciate our differences. We are always learning from each other and expanding our horizons in our relationship.

I think the secret of our success is trust, honesty, patience and learning the art of compromise. We respect each other's space and try to learn more about each other's friends, language, food preferences and background. In the past, I think that writing letters was aæway for us to express ourselves freely; waiting for replies to our letters filled us with excitement.

I amæcontent that I married the best man I could ever choose, that our inter-ethnic marriage is a blessing and I would do it all over again. My husband is my confidante,æmy best friend, my lover. He is the reason for my success.

The words that my teacher said in high school became true to my world.

Mona Darwich and Michael A. Gatto married on Dec. 20, 1996, in Port Said, Egypt, and live in Mililani.

Do you have a great love story? What are your best stories or advice on marriage and making the magic last? Do you have a story from your wedding or wedding-planning advice? Send your letter of 500-750 words with your city and phone number to: For Better, For Worse, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170. Sending a photo is optional.