A short, sweet life sadly ends

By Mike Leidemann
Advertiser Columnist

Chelsea Venner's short, sweet, silent life came to an end about the same time I was ready to enjoy a weekend in Waikiki. I went to play in the sun while they buried the bravest kid I ever knew.

That's the way it goes sometimes for those of us who choose to spend our lives in Hawai'i, thousands of miles from our family.

Chelsea was born with a hole in her heart. Before she was a year old she had a heart transplant that was supposed to give her an opportunity for a long and complete life. Doctors said she could do anything with the new heart, even run a marathon. For a while things looked good.

Then there were complications.

One was that she never learned to speak. Doctors say this happens in a small percentage of young heart transplant recipients. They don't know why.

That didn't stop Chelsea though.

Although she was often in and out of hospitals and therapy sessions, she always had a smile on her face; she rarely cried, never complained. Everywhere she went, she lifted spirits.

I only met her a few times, but the experience changed me in ways I still can't explain. We were often separated by thousands of miles, but the thought of her smile, her good humor in the face of her overwhelming problems came to me at the unlikeliest of times. There was nothing like thinking of her to put my own small problems at work or home in perspective.

So when the news came last week that Chelsea's second heart had given out, I was crushed. She died instantly without any apparent pain.

All that was back on the East Coast, where most of her family lives. My sister, Chelsea's grandmother, telephoned me with the news at the office just as I was preparing to leave on the weekend getaway, doing what I could to help the struggling tourist economy.

I felt helpless. It's hard enough trying to maintain family ties when one member chooses to live 6,000 miles away from the others. It's harder still to share in all the joys and pains that make up an 'ohana from that distance.

Not knowing what else to do, I sent Chelsea's parents a check to help with the funeral expenses and had dinner that night on the beach in front of the Sheraton Waikiki. I walked the beach and shopped the stores and, in truth, didn't really think about Chelsea very much.

By the time I got home and called, they had buried Chelsea. Her father thanked me for the money I sent, and I wished I could have been there to help more. He said thanks again and then there wasn't anything more to say.

Chelsea Venner was 6.

I wish I could have been around more to get to know her better, to share more of her life. But that's how it is with those of us who choose to live in Hawai'i, thousands of miles from our families.

Mike Leidemann's columns appear Thursdays and Saturdays. Reach him at 525-5460 or mleidemann@honoluluadvertiser.com