Coping with financial crisis
By Zenaida Serrano Espanol
Advertiser Staff Writer
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| Illustration by Martha Hernandez • The Honolulu Advertiser |
The 31-year-old flight attendant for United Airlines, a married mother of two young children, was placed on leave earlier this month as a result of the economic downturn caused by the attacks.
Although Magalei said her family hasn't suffered financially, partly because of careful financial planning in the past, they are still taking precautions. "Our spending has definitely been cut," she said. "But we've been frugal before."
Nevertheless, Magalei is determined to remain positive. She's especially grateful that her husband, who also works in the tourism industry, is still employed. "We're one of the lucky ones," she said.
Others aren't so fortunate, though. Thousands of families in Hawai'i and elsewhere, especially those in the tourism industry, are feeling the economic impact the tragedy and war has had in the forms of layoffs, furloughs and reduced work hours.
But it's much more than an economic issue. Displaced workers are at a higher risk for depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts and illness, said Sylvia Yuen, director of the University of Hawai'i Center on the Family.
Marital conflicts and family violence may increase, as may feelings of self-doubt and helplessness; problems with drug or alcohol use may worsen; and spouses and children of displaced workers often show such symptoms as well, mental health experts say.
There are, however, steps that couples and families with children can take to cope with financial stress and the problems that can arise from such pressures.
Act immediately
When a person first loses a job, takes a pay cut or experiences other work or money crises, feelings of shock, anxiety and helplessness are common. But they shouldn't isolate themselves. Instead, they should take constructive action, said Ivette Stern, project coordinator at the Center on the Family.
Workers need to share the news with their families, who then need to shift to "teamwork mode," she said. "A family that's proactive will do well, no matter what."
Displaced workers should also immediately take advantage of unemployment benefits and other employment services.
The families that do best during hard times are those who stay focused on the future, Yuen said.
Grace Fong, an associate professor of family resources at UH, said that "one of the first things that's really important is (for families) to kind of sit down and prioritize."
Fong said families need to figure out what their essentials and extras are, then budget for the most important items, such as mortgage or rent payments, medical care, utilities and food, and delay or give up purchases that aren't necessary.
This way, they'll have extra money in cases of emergency and will also know that they can survive periods of financial difficulties.
"Because I work in the visitor industry, we don't really know what's going to happen," said Magalei's husband, Raymond, 32, a marketing manager at the Polynesian Cultural Center. "Although I'm optimistic, we are taking steps to make sure we're covered."
The Magaleis, for example, are budgeting cautiously, giving up plans to go on a family vacation and buy a new car this year. "Those two things are out the window now, but those were luxuries," Magalei said. "We just decided we needed to save (money) to be prepared."
Get children involved
Yuen said that it helps to discuss problems within the family, to brainstorm solutions together and tackle problems one at a time so as not to feel overwhelmed.
Parents also should include their children in at least some of the discussions, Stern said. "It's important not to ignore the kids."
Children usually can tell when there are difficulties at home, she said, "so not to address it with them just builds their anxiety, so involve them in the problem solving."
Leaving children out won't "protect" them, Yuen said. Doing so may cause them to assume things are worse than they are.
Parents should also allow their children to actively help out. For example, Yuen said, if mom is working longer hours because dad is out of work, the kids can help prepare dinner. This way, she said, children feel they are contributing.
"And remember that they're also learning how to behave themselves in future crises," Yuen said. "Whether it's financial loss or any other kinds of losses, they're learning from the parents' behavior (how) to react."
When parents and children work together, it helps to relieve emotional distress, increases control over the situation and brings families closer together, Yuen said.
Keep a positive attitude
"I think that very often parents (who are displaced workers) get worried or depressed because they're really thinking about their kids' (welfare)," Yuen said. "They shouldn't think, 'I've ruined it for my kids, so I've ruined it for my family.'"
Parents should realize that regardless of their work status or finances, their children can do well academically and grow up to be successful adults, Yuen said.
She suggests families keep hope alive by sharing stories about past difficulties and how the family "emerged victorious" in the end. "Just to have that bright light at the end of the tunnel," Yuen said.
Because displaced workers often deal with feelings of worthlessness, Stern said, their spouses must also try to be positive and supportive. A spouse can, for example, reassure a husband or wife that "we'll get through this together," Stern said.
Stern suggests couples keep communication open. "Just be there and listen," she said. "Create the space to allow your spouse to share what he or she is feeling."
Don't neglect your health
Staying healthy boosts the physical endurance and mental capacity needed to deal with problems and stress. That's why experts say it is important to eat and sleep well, exercise to relieve tension, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
"Oftentimes when we get stressed, we tend to neglect ourselves even more," Fong said, and doing so may worsen the problem.
"The stress gets worse because we're tired, we're grumpy ... (we're) more susceptible to getting sick, and then that creates more stress on top of itself because you may not be able to take care of the family as well. If you want to take care of others well, you've got to take care of yourself first."
Stern suggests family members exercise with each other — taking long walks together, for example — which has the extra benefit of increasing time together and strengthening family bonds.
Maintain family routines
Keeping family routines, such as eating meals together and reading bedtime stories, and maintaining family rules, like expecting children to assist with household chores and to do well in school, gives a family a sense of stability, Yuen said. It's also reassuring, especially for children, she said.
Parents should also continue family outings, but opt for low-cost or free alternatives. For example, rather than spending money on a movie in a theater, Yuen suggests free activities, such as going to the library or to the beach.
"When children have some routine and some stability, it gives them the assurance that the world is OK. ... That 'my family and my parents are in control, and they're not falling apart,'" Yuen said.
If children don't feel secure, they can become anxious and worried, and their school work can suffer, Stern said.
Children are less likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as drug use, when there is a family structure and parents are interested in and involved in their lives.
Take advantage of resources
"Sometimes people feel it's embarrassing to let other people know that they're having problems and they're reluctant to seek help," Fong said. "But there are many resources out in the community that are there to help people through these difficult times."
Such resources, which are often free, include job training, childcare subsidies and money management classes.
Although currently employed, 44-year-old Manny Balidio of Wahiawa was unemployed for about three months after being laid off as a corporate account manager in April 2000. During that period, Balidio, a father of three, took advantage of such resources and services, including job-training and resume-writing workshops. "Be persistent." Balidio said. "Use whatever resources are out there."
Besides turning to community resources, ask for help from family and friends. They are valuable resources in managing stress and are often willing to help, Yuen said. Seeking assistance puts you in a proactive mode and makes you less passive and isolated.
"That rubs off on the children, too," Fong said. "They can see that you don't just sit back and necessarily feel sorry for yourself, but you can do something positive."
Reach Zenaida Serrano Espanol at zespanol@honoluluadvertiser.com.
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Here are some places to find support and assistance following a layoff, furlough or other major financial crisis (in some cases, applicants may have to comply with eligibility guidelines):
Financial counseling services
- Volunteer Legal Services Hawai'i, Consumer Credit Clinic: 528-7046, (800) 839-5200
- Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Hawai'i: 532-3225, (800) 801-5999, cccshawaii.org
- UH College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources, Cooperative Extension Service, Family Financial Counseling Program: 956-6519 for an application
- All Hawai'i credit unions and banking institutions can assist customers who are affected by the recent economic downturn and can't make their payments on time. Call your local branch for more information.
Unemployment benefits
State Department of Labor and Industrial Relations, Unemployment Benefit Offices:
- Honolulu: 586-8970, 586-8971
- Kane'ohe: 233-3677
- Waipahu: 675-0030
- Hilo: 974-4086
- Kona: 322-4822
- Maui: 984-8400
- Moloka'i: 553-1750
- Kaua'i: 274-3043
Free and reduced-price breakfast and lunch for public-school students
- State Department of Education: applications available at all public schools
Food, clothing, and financial assistance
- Catholic Charities Help Line: 521-4357, catholiccharitieshawaii.org
Free or low-cost employment training
- State Department of Labor and Industrial Relations, Hawai'i Workforce Development, One-Stop Workforce Assistance Centers, Honolulu: 586-8700, dlir.state.hi.us/
- University of Hawai'i Employment Training Center, Office of Student Services: 832-3719, www.hawaii.edu/etcinfo
- Child and Family Service, job education training: 681-1552, www.cfs-hawaii.org
Free family support:
- The Parent Line: 526-1222, (800) 816-1222, www.theparentline.org
- Alu Like Inc., Pulama I Na Keiki: 535-6766, www.alulike.org
Childcare subsidies
- Maximus Child Care Connection Hawai'i: 483-7340
- Downtown Child Care Connection Hawai'i Unit 1: 587-5266
- Child Care Connection (Neighbor Islands), Hawai'i Behavioral Health: (808) 935-6109
- Alu Like Inc., Services for Native Hawaiians, Child Care Assistance Project: 535-1300, www.alulike.org
For general assistance
- Aloha United Way: ASK-2000, (877) 275-6569, www.auw.org/
Source: Center on the Family, University of Hawai'i
