Wedding Diary
Nerves are starting to fray as Soga-Moore wedding day nears

Wedding Diary is a column by Nu'uanu residents Connie Soga, 30 and Bret Moore, 27. The periodic report tracks the couple's progress as they near their Nov. 3 wedding, with about 300 guests, at the Sheraton Waikiki Hotel.

By Connie Soga and Bret Moore

Connie's speaks on ...

Her state of mind:

My maid of honor, Tiffany, constantly asks me, "Aren't you nervous?" and the answer is always "No." It's true. I think I'm going to be fine until the day of the wedding — and then when I have my gown and everything on, it will probably hit me when I see everyone at the ceremony. I think I'm still in "event-planning mode."

I've been giving Bret a hard time lately with his end of the wedding details. He has been really busy at both his jobs, and he doesn't have a lot of time to think about the wedding. I find myself constantly reminding him to do the simplest things.

I'm also preparing myself at work to have a two-week absence. That means everything has to get done before I leave, or I have to set it up for when I get back.

Good and bad experiences:

We spent the last few weeks creating our slide show. Our mothers really sent us some funny photos. Bret was really a dork when he was a teenager! But we have a good mix of funny, sweet and interesting photos for our friends and family to see.

I also took my gown into the bridal salon for alterations. A piece of advice for brides with fluffy dresses — rent the crinoline. Buying is expensive, nobody will ever see it, and when will you ever use it again?

The wedding registry we set up at Williams Sonoma is great. It has been helpful to have a registry online for the Mainland guests, the guests who do not have that store where they live, and those who like to shop online.

One bad experience stands out. We had an agreement with a local florist over seven months ago who offered to get us wholesale prices on flowers. A couple of weeks ago, he reneged on his initial quote and tried to charge us almost $200 more than what was agreed. With just weeks before our wedding, he may have thought he had us over a barrel, but thankfully another florist came to our aid and helped us get closer to the price we budgeted for.

Looking ahead

This weekend, Tiffany and the bridesmaids are putting together a small bridal shower for me, and I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to spending time with my family and my matron of honor, Tami, who is flying in from my hometown of Chicago.

The moment I'm really looking forward to is right after the reception is over. I look forward to going up to our room, taking off the 15-pound dress and all the other wedding gear I'll be wearing, getting into pajamas and ordering a big, fat pizza! Hopefully there is delivery to the Sheraton Waikiki, because I'm going to be ready to eat some when it's all over.

Bret speaks on ...

His state of mind:

I don't think that the wedding has officially "hit." I mean, I am not nervous about the actual nuptials. I am starting to freak out about "what little details did we forget?" I am making a mental list of everything that I liked and didn't like about the other weddings we've attended, and am kind of worried that I will have no control what happens to ours once the whole thing gets started.

One of my biggest stresses is getting all my groomsmen on the same sheet of music. With most of them in the military, it is hard with all the drama going on in the world to get them to do a lot of their responsibilities on time.

My biggest concern is having a smooth transition from the ceremony to the reception. Some of the weddings we have attended had many of the guests just standing around with nothing to do for up to an hour. That is why I have enlisted four ushers to help out and make the transition very smooth. I think it will help avoid the waiting around until the reception hall opens. I think I will not uncross my fingers just yet.

Good and bad experiences:

Connie and I are starting to find out that stress is knocking at our doors. I don't deal too well with certain types of stress. There have been a few less-than-cordial situations between us. But we are using a lot of what we learned in our pre-marriage class to help bridge the gap. So far it is working, and as long as I keep buying Connie flowers and DVDs, I think she will keep me around for a few years.

With all the commotion surrounding the past few weeks with my job in the military and the stress of the wedding, it is becoming very hard for me to juggle all the demands. This has caused me to pay less attention that I normally do to Connie, and I have forgotten a few key things.

Looking ahead

What would I be looking ahead to the most? I think November 4th! I am kind of all weddinged out. Right now, I am more excited about getting it all over with than reaching the day itself. We are somewhere in between "Oh, you're getting married, how sweet," and "Man, I can't wait till it's all over."

Of course, I cannot wait for all the other goodies that come with marriage. You know, the tax breaks, the extra income, Connie's health insurance. Nah, just joking. We are not going to start looking for a house just yet, as we want to decide if Hawai'i will be our stomping grounds for many years first.

Kids? Many friends have started asking about kids. I think Connie and I would like to get down the aisle first before kids start in the picture. We would like to have kids, but Connie said something about me growing up first — I wasn't really listening.