The September 11th attack
Healing by helping
By Beverly Creamer
Advertiser Staff Writer
Polly Kauahi is in charge of some sweaty, dirty, hard work every year, and in the past, she's had to beg people to pitch in and help.
Photo illustration by Stephen Downes • The Honolulu Advertiser
Not this year.
Volunteers have come out in force to help those in need in Hawai'i following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks in New York and Washington, D.C. Experts say volunteer efforts give people a sense of helping out in a time of national need and an outlet to express the feelings of grief and anger that follow traumatic events.
As director of special events and volunteer services for the Hawai'i Food Bank, in the past two weeks Kauahi has had to turn away more than 125 people. She already has the 200 folks she needs, and there's no space for more in the dilapidated warehouse where the agency will pack thousands of boxes of emergency food supplies for needy families this Saturday.
"It's not something fun to do," she says. "But we've been getting calls from people who just say, 'We heard about your project and we want to help.'"
Something profound is happening. Throughout the community, in small ways and large, people are finding the time to help others as they never have before.
As the fall fund-raising campaign wound up at Hawai'i Public Radio last week, more than 1,000 new members — far more than ever — had signed up, and the money raised was $6,000 above goal.
"All of us are going, 'Wow, what happened?'" said president and general manager Michael Titterton. "There were a million reasons why this campaign should have been a disaster. But it was apparent from the first minute that something was going on that we hadn't anticipated. From the first moment, the phones just lit up."
Psychologist Sunny Massad calls it part of the way people alleviate self-pity after a tragedy, part of the way they take back power and control in their lives.
"Any opportunity to make someone else feel better, will make you feel better," said Massad, who has offered her own services to numerous community groups seeking to cope with a vast array of feelings.
"We feel better about ourselves when we're giving," said Massad. "If you know that the woman next door is old and lives alone, and if you go knock on the door with some cookies and to chat, you'll go home feeling like there's more meaning in your life."
Massad said on Sept. 11 the whole country went through a collective "near-death" experience. "All of a sudden, we were forced to look at 'what am I doing with my life?'" she said. As a result, people started looking at their values.
Cynthia Derosier has done just that. As the horror unfolded in New York — where she went to college and lived for several years — she spent the day on the phone with friends and relatives who were there and going through it.
By the next morning, she was picking up the phone and calling the Red Cross, becoming one of 180 new volunteers being trained in the wake of the attacks.
"Everyone gets caught up in their day-to-day life," says the advertising agency senior art director at Ogilvy and Mather. "And I think something like this is a big catalyst to realize the time is now. You can't wait for tomorrow. I've always been hesitant because I never knew about how much time I had. But now I'll make the time. The immensity of it makes you realize we're all part of this."
Young people, especially, are feeling a new and sudden sense of reality. At Leilehua High School in Wahiawa, senior Miles Oyasato, 17, talks with his friends about the possibility of a military draft, even as he steps forward to take a leadership position in offering assistance. After the Sept. 11 attacks, he found himself signing up to lead a crew of student volunteers in projects during "Make A Difference Day" this Saturday.
"It's doing your part in helping out your nation," he says. "We can't go out and fight, so this is what we can do."
To Jack Annon, a forensic psychologist who most often deals with the aftermath of workplace violence, the feeling of doing your part can be a crucial part of getting through the feelings of grief and anger that follow traumatic events.
"It gives people the sense, 'I'm doing something about it,'" he said. "Taking such action helps people adapt to a new and disturbing set of circumstances in the world, and that will help keep them from panicking."
Across town, Jenny Quezon can hardly catch her breath at the outpouring of help that's been promised to refurbish the parking lot of the Philippine Consulate, a historic Hawai'i building. For years, she's been writing letters and begging for help; this year the response is overwhelming.
"Russel Pascua called, and he's bringing in the Filipino Junior Chamber of Commerce, all 14 of them. And Miss Hawai'i Filipina, Maribel Apuya, she's getting involved. And Jesse's and L & L Drive-in are giving the food. And Franklin Borroneo, he always does free plumbing. Twenty-four hours. And Lito Alcantra always provides free carpentry. And Lolinda Ramos, she wants to get back involved."
The list doesn't stop. "Ben Saguibo, bless his heart, I think he got tired of my begging. He suggested we use the laborer's training school." Sure enough, the school has equipment to pour black-top and Quezon has rounded up volunteers to put a new coating on the parking lot. Already Unity House has sent a check for $1,000 toward materials.
For his part, Pascua has also been fielding calls from supporters who want to be part of the recovery. "A lot of people have fear in themselves because of what's happening," he says, "so we're trying to encourage everyone to do something to get on with their lives and act normal."
"If you're busy," said Pascua, "the fear goes away."
At the Hawai'i Job Corps Center in Waimanalo, 22-year-old trainee Joseph Gapital is finding that out. He's joining 75 other Job Corps people in painting Pu'uhale School. "We volunteer to help people, to get out of this," said Gapital. "Because you feel kind of scared."
Psychologist Massad explains it more fully: "Excitement and fear are the same emotion. It's only what you do, in your mind, that determines what it's going to be experienced as. Those who are saying 'The sky is falling, what if ...' are living in anxiety. Their world is getting smaller. They're not going to dinner. Not socializing. And the economy is reflecting that.
"We have to turn our fear into excitement. As long as we can keep giving, we can. How can you tap into your own passion and make meaning of your own life? By touching someone else's."
Derosier agrees. "If one person and one group can do something so horrible, then one person or one group can do something good to make up for it."
