Movie Scene
At the Movies: 'On the Line'

By Christy Lemire
AP Entertainment Writer

"On the Line," a Miramax Pictures release, is rated PG for language and some crude humor. Eric Aronson and Paul Stanton wrote the goofy, predictable script. Running time: 86 minutes.

I was sooooo excited about "On the Line." I totally love 'N Sync. And even though the movie only has, like, two of the five guys from the group, it still looked good.

Lance Bass is SO adorable. He has the greenest eyes. They're, like, so ... green. And I have to admit, Joey Fatone was NOT my favorite 'N Sync member. But I thought he'd be funny in this, ya know?

I was so wrong. "On the Line," from some director named Eric Bross, is a totally lame romantic comedy. Lance has, like, zero presence, and the movie's idea of humor is having Joey do gross things.

Lance plays an ad man in Chicago named Kevin who meets this really cute girl (Emmanuelle Chriqui) on the subway. And get this — supposedly they hit it off instantly because they both love Al Green and the Cubs and they can both name all the U.S. presidents in chronological order. Whatever!

But Kevin is, like, such a wimp, he's afraid to get her digits — or her name, for that matter — and after spending a few magical moments together, he lets her walk away.

Then he gets what he thinks is a great idea: He'll put posters up all over the city describing her and their afternoon together, and hopefully she'll see one of them and call him.

Kevin's friends (played by Joey, James Bulliard and some wannabe rapper dude named GQ) try to help him weed out the phonies by going out on dates with several of the women who called — all of which is supposed to be wacky, or something.

The mystery woman doesn't call, but a newspaper editor sees one of Kevin's posters and asks a reporter (Dan Montgomery) to do a story on the search. And the reporter just happens to be a guy who knew Kevin from high school and holds a major grudge against him because Kevin stole his prom date. Like, I'm so sure that would happen!

Of course, Kevin and his dream woman have a bunch of near-misses, one of which happens at an Al Green concert, where the R&B singer does some seriously awful lip-synching.

And the girl — whose name is Abby, we eventually learn — just happens to have a boyfriend who's a major jerk, so of course Kevin would be a way better match for her.

You just know they're going to get together at the end — and when they do, like, hundreds of random people and TV crews are there for their big reunion.

Yeah, right!

One of the worst parts is that some people with actual talent are wasted here, including Dave Foley from "The Kids in the Hall" as Kevin's uptight boss, and Jerry Stiller, who plays a crusty old mailroom worker who sits around complaining about his hemorrhoids. Ewwww!

But the BEST part of the movie — besides the 'N Sync songs on the soundtrack — is at the very end, so try to stick it out until then. Not to reveal too many surprises, it has to do with Justin Timberlake! At a recent screening, girls were totally screaming when Justin came on screen — and, like, who could blame them?

Lance and Joey should stick to singing and dancing, because unless they get some better material, they'll have to say "Bye Bye Bye" to their acting careers.