Caving in to tire gauge pressure
By Mike Leidemann
Advertiser Columnist
Is there anything as sleek and sexy as a good tire pressure gauge?
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but in the right hands a tire gauge conveys power, knowledge and authority. A tire gauge does its best work under pressure; in fact, that's the only way it works.
Men who know nothing else about how a car works revel in their use of a tire gauge. Even guys who can't tell a CV boot from an old boot can turn into a gas station, whip out their gauge and try to impress a woman in the passenger seat.
"Geez, I knew it," they'll say. "Twenty-eight PSI. Could tell by the she was handling."
In their dreams, the women nod impressively.
In the heyday of Chevy Impalas and Plymouth Barracudas, tire gauges were an indispensible part of a young man's fashion accessories. Certain men carried them in their shirt pockets the same way some guys keep Leathermen tools on their belt today. In the 1950s they were as much a part of a certain look as a gold razorblade on a chain in the disco era.
Back then, tire gauges were simple things. They were sleek and practical, the size and shape of a well-designed fountain pen. Ever so silky. Yet practical.
Men often had a one-on-one relationship with their tire gauge. It did one thing and it did it well. No multi-tasking here. Just you, a tire, a gauge, a readout.
Somewhere along the line, though, the tire gauge changed, like the rest of us. It went high-tech. Digital. And it grew clunky, rubber-handled and the size of a pair of plumbing pliers.
"The Waekon T2000 Digital Tire Pressure Gauge is microprocessor controlled, and altitude and temperature compensated," according to its manufacturer. "It is accurate to within .5 PSI for the full range of 0-99.9 PSI. with resolutions shown in .1 PSI. It has an ergonomically designed handle of rugged plastic for a sure grip and uses two lithium batteries that provide long life even with heavy use. It comes with valve remover and tire depth gauge, and has a belt-loop holster for ready access and storage."
As soon as I heard this, I knew I had to rush out and buy one just like it. I found it at Radio Shack, where an eager clerk assured me that I was getting the Rolls-Royce of tire gauges for only $19.95.
Predictably, my wife was unimpressed.
"What was wrong with the old one?" she asked. Which just goes to show how much she knows about me after 25 years of marriage.
I could have explained about the cool liquid-crystal readout displays, the lifelong lithium batteries, the attached valve remover and all the rest. By what would be the point?
It's a man thing. Just like a good cigar.
Mike Leidemann's columns run Thursdays and Saturdays. Reach him at mleidemann@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-5460.
