The September 11th attack
They shared a name — but not destiny

By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer

Heather Ho, a New Yorker with the same name as Hawai'i's missing Heather Ho, has been returning messages left on her answering machine with a greater respect for what it means to be alive.

Hawai'i's Heather Ho, 32, had been working as executive pastry chef at the Windows on the World restaurant on the World Trade Center's 107th floor. Advertiser library photo

This Heather Ho, 40, who just earned a graduate degree in arts administration from Columbia University, watched with the rest of the world.

She had never met the Honolulu native with the same name who has been missing since the towers collapsed. That Heather Ho, 32, the executive pastry chef at the Windows on the World restaurant on the World Trade Center's 107th floor, is presumed dead along with most of her staff and nearly 6,000 others.

And this Heather Ho, the one who turned 40 on Sept. 7, has been absorbing everything she can about the stranger who shares her name.

This Heather Ho read about the other in the New York Times. Family and friends knew that she was not involved because the pictures and details of their lives didn't match. But each phone call brought her closer to the stranger.

"Each person who calls tells me something new about her," Ho said. "You suddenly have the feeling that you gradually start to know someone who has the same name."

This Heather Ho just survived breast cancer. "It's like I should have died once," she said, "and now it's a second time."

This Heather Ho wants the other's family to know she will never forget the other Heather Ho.

She said she feels compelled to reach out to them just so they'll know.

Across the nation, others like her also are feeling grateful and sorrowful at the same time.

In Pahoa, on the Big Island, Thomas C. Burnett Jr., 53, took heart that he is not the same Thomas Burnett as the 38-year-old computer executive on hijacked United Airlines Flight 93, the one who phoned his wife, learned of the other hijackings, and told her a group on board was determined to "do something about it." That plane crashed in a Pennsylvania field, killing everyone on board.

Rob Hail, a Rotary Club of Honolulu Sunrise member, has mistakenly been receiving condolences meant for Rob Hale, the father of missing 1993 Kaiser High School grad and 26-year-old financial executive Maile Hale. It spurred him to ask the club to donate money in honor of the Hale family.

Dr. Antonia Austria quashed rumors moving in Honolulu medical office circles yesterday that her husband, Hawai'i psychiatrist Dr. David Bernstein, was among the missing. Happily, he was home for Rosh Hashana.

But sadly, his brother, William Bernstein, is among the missing. William Bernstein was working on the 105th floor of the World Trade Center's north tower for Cantor Fitzgerald, a leading Treasury bond brokerage.

Cantor Fitzgerald has not heard from 700 employees, including two with Hawai'i connections — Michael Collins, husband of fashion designer and 1977 Leilehua High School grad Lissa Jean Collins, and Rich Y.C. Lee, a 1986 Punahou School graduate and vice president of Cantor Fitzgerald's E-Speed Internet company.

In Hawai'i Kai, Richard Lee, 62, a different Richard Lee than the one missing in New York, said he has been thinking a lot about the timing of tragedies in life and how he could have been the one at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"We have a lot of Rich Lees on this island," he said. "Well, it could have been me. It could have been anybody. We take stock of everybody's life now."

This Richard Lee is looking forward to continuing his weekly ritual teaching children yo-yo tricks at Ward Warehouse on Saturday nights. This Richard Lee worries about getting stuck on the Mainland if he decides to take a trip somewhere like Las Vegas. But this Richard Lee doesn't want to be consumed by fear.

"Every day is a new day," he said. "We have a lot to be thankful for."

Reach Tanya Bricking at tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8026.