By David Shapiro

There's a joke circulating on the Internet about the death of the fellow who wrote the "Hokey Pokey." Mourners said it was a nightmare getting him into the grave — they put his left leg in, he took his left leg out, they put his right leg in ... you get the picture.

It's a groaner, for sure, but it made me laugh because it put a tune to the 2002 governor's race —especially on the Democratic side:

You put Anderson in
You take Hirono out
You hang Harris out to dry
And shake your booty all about ...

In truth, the "Hokey Pokey" suggests more coordination than the Democrats have displayed.

Lt. Gov. Mazie Hirono, once the top contender, was forced to drop out when Democratic money lined up behind Honolulu Mayor Jeremy Harris. He looked unbeatable — until the Democrats started eating their front-runner.

The Campaign Spending Commission accused Harris of criminal fund-raising violations, tried to restrict contributions to his campaign and harassed him for money he raised for Al Gore's presidential campaign — a dubious investigation that has been dropped.

Former Democratic legislator Russell Blair sued to force Harris to resign as mayor before running for governor, leading Harris to suspend his campaign pending a ruling from the state Supreme Court.

Some of Harris' fellow Democrats on the City Council took the opportunity to batter him for alleged mismanagement of city finances.

If these matters resolve quickly in Harris' favor, he's still the favorite to win the Democratic nomination. But if they drag on, he'll have to decide whether it's worth risking the final two years of his mayoral term.

The old-guard Democrats behind many of Harris' troubles are split on what to do next. Some support D.G. "Andy" Anderson, the former Republican-turned-Democrat, while others hope to entice former Gov. John Waihee into the race.

Hirono hints she'll drop back in if Harris drops out.

The wild card is state Rep. Ed Case, the most attractive candidate few have heard of. He's fiscally conservative, well-spoken, refreshingly honest and willing to fight the political status quo. If he figures a way to get noticed, Democratic voters fed up with embarrassing missteps might just give the new guy a serious look.

Linda Lingle, the likely Republican nominee, must marvel at her good fortune as the Democrats self-destruct. A few months ago, the Lingle camp argued whether Hirono or Harris would be more difficult to beat, never dreaming she might not have to face either.

Waihee could be formidable, but he hardly left office in 1994 on a wave of popularity. He'd face sharp criticism for his administration's contracting scandals and for running up the state budget to unsupportable levels.

In a similar scenario, Maui Democrats lost when former Mayor Elmer Cravalho came out of retirement to try to thwart Lingle's mayoral ambitions.

Anderson is an innovative thinker and respected political insider, but he's never won election to top office. As a Republican, he lost two gubernatorial races and two runs for Honolulu mayor. It remains to be seen if changing parties will change his luck.

Anderson and Lingle are aggressively courting traditional Democratic allies, such as public workers, who are up for grabs with no natural candidate in this wacky election.

It could come down to these two former Republican Party bosses debating which of them can do a better job of servicing the old Democratic special interests.

Who says things never change in Hawai'i?

David Shapiro can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net.