By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

From Burmese to Vietnamese, the University of Hawai'i offers instruction in more than 30 languages and dialects and says it has the potential to add 30 more.

But nowhere in the course catalog will you find the tongue they call "Cav" that is spoken on the football practice field.

Nowhere among the shelves in the campus bookstore is there a dictionary for the colorful vocabulary indigenous to the offensive line and named in honor of its foremost native speaker, assistant coach Mike Cavanaugh.

"Not too many people can speak 'Cav,' " says head coach June Jones. "I can't."

"Speaking and understanding 'Cav' definitely takes some getting used to," said tackle Wayne Hunter, who, in moving over from the defensive line after the end of last season, is still learning its finer nuances.

It is the means of communication in the trenches, where, in the lexicon of 'Cav', "cavemen" and "robots" roam at their peril and everybody aspires to be a "'bender."

Clearly, though, it is not a Romance language.

"He can get his point across pretty, well, graphically," said Rich Miano, an assistant coach. "Even if you delete all the cuss words and cut to the content, he can be pretty interesting."

Like the spring three years ago when Cavanaugh showed up for the first time and began telling his puzzled players he wanted them to make like the Missouri license plate.

"He was talking about this license plate and nobody knew what he was saying," said Manly Kanoa III. "Finally, he said Missouri is the 'Show Me State' and we had to show him what we had in the spring if we wanted to play in the fall."

As a public service, we offer the first "Cav" glossary:

Alligator arms — Player who doesn't use the proper blocking technique and short-arms an opponent.

Anchor — Player with a large okole.

'Bender — Short for knee-bender, someone with flexibility and good technique, practically a term of endearment coming from Cavanaugh.

Caveman — No technique whatsoever.

Flasher — Player who shows occasional flashes of brilliance but lacks consistency.

Gas attendant — Player who doesn't go to class and will soon be pumping gas.

McDonald's drive-thru — Player who misses blocks, endangering the QB.

Long-sleeve — Player who is lazy about lifting weights. Needs to hide an absence of muscle.

Missouri — Spring practice, when it is "Show Me" time.

Robot or redwood — Someone who is big, stiff and dense.

Wire-brush time — Getting down to the nitty gritty.