By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

To: Herman Frazier
Athletic Director
University of Hawai'i

Dear Herman;

Let us be among the first to welcome you today for what we promise will be one of the most interesting jobs you've ever held.

Never mind that a former Western Athletic Conference commissioner once called the University of Hawai'i athletic director's position the toughest in the country. He was probably just kidding.

Anyway, since all of us want you to get off on the right foot, here are a few hints to help guide you through the first few days in Manoa:

• Check under the cushions in your office for any spare change Hugh Yoshida might have left. The way the budget is shaping up, every bit helps.

• When overseeing the building of any facility always make sure early on you can see the action from the seats. This sounds simple enough but someday you will hear stories about the architects and the softball stadium. They're true.

• When you see Vili Fehoko in action for the first time, do not panic He is on your side. And you'll be glad to have him. Ask Mike Wilton.

• When attending receptions at College Hill, never say, "Fixing up this place sure must have cost a fortune!"

• In case you're wondering while going over Riley Wallace's travel receipts, he really does eat all those meals at Golden Corral.

• Never call the men's basketball team the "Warriors" or football the "Rainbows" — unless you have all day to listen to a lecture on the differences.

• Smile when anybody says "pay-per-view" because Bachman Hall helped put it together and meeting your budget depends upon it.

• When in doubt about anything at UH, ask Margie Okimoto. After aiding four previous ADs, chances are she'll have the answer before you ask the question.

• Never start a sentence with, "Like anything else..." or use "come on board" in any fashion.

• Do not mention "AstroTurf" and "Aloha Stadium" in the same breath around the football office.

• No, Uncle Fester doesn't work there. That is offensive line coach Mike Cavanaugh wandering the halls. And, believe the stories: he really did wear those shorts to a wedding once.

• Bring that Pac-10 rolodex with you and use it frequently when helping UH teams to fill out their schedules.

• Yes, it rains a lot at Aloha Stadium and, yes, you are paying to rent the place. But, no, you can't sneak an umbrella in there either.

• Your staff members are not putting you on: Louisiana Tech really is in the WAC.

• If you have to ask, "What's this about the President's common sense test?" chances are you have already failed it.