Posted on: Monday, August 5, 2002

60 SECONDS ON BUSINESS
Building trust is like forming a friendship

By Dr. Drake Beil
President, Solutions Inc.

What is your definition of a friend? Is it someone you trust?

In my coaching and influence model, friends are people you can start guiding immediately, because you already have a base of trust established.

Repeated contact over time would do it. And once trust is built, it lasts. Have you ever met a friend you haven't seen in a while? How does it feel? Isn't it true that you can almost pick up right where you left off?

Say there's a board meeting with several first-time attendees. What if one of them started dictating policy and ordering other board members around?

How would you describe the individual? As pushy? Sure. That's the effect when you try to guide someone before they trust you. Even if your guidance is great, many would rather be wrong and do it their way, than be right and have to listen to "Pushy."

Guiding or educating others works best when there is trust. The coaching process has three stages, and trust must come first. They don't have to like you to trust you, but if they don't trust you, they probably won't listen. They won't follow you (unless they have no choice). If they do follow you, KICKING AND SCREAMING ALL THE WAY, they'll look for the first opportunity to get away. That's no way to complete an agreement or close the sale.

Closure is the last stage. If both parties live up to their agreements, you build more trust, and stronger bonds. Your trust is beyond the grip of time and cements a relationship that can be strong and durable.

Reach Dr. Drake Beil at drake@60secondsonbusiness.