By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

The clock is ticking. The pressure is on. The neighbor gave us mangoes.

In recent years, in places I've lived, when the doorbell rang on a Sunday morning, it meant one (or all) of the following things: The stereo was too loud, the car was parked in the wrong place, the dog tipped over the garbage cans, a chance to subscribe to my favorite magazines at a discount price.

I haven't experienced the Sunday morning neighborly gifting in a long, long time. At first, there was just the delight of an unexpected gift; but then, panic set in. What do I give them in return?

Thinking back to the Hawai'i Rules of Reciprocal Gift Giving, handed down through generations in the plantation camps, it has to be something home-made, home-grown, caught in the ocean or gathered in the mountains. They bring you won bok from their garden, you bring them cherry tomatoes from yours. They give you fresh akule, you give them mountain apples. They give you avocados from their back yard, you give them tangerines from your prize tree (and of course, as etiquette dictates, you BOTH apologize for the poor quality of your gift, even though the avocados aren't at all stringy and the tangerines are sweet as sugar). That's the basic code.

The really sophisticated neighborhoods work out a system where you give them mangoes and, two days later, they bring over mango chutney. Of course, then it's your turn again because you owe them for the sugar and the jar.

The rules seem to dictate that the only acceptable store-bought reciprocal gift is something brought by a relative from a Neighbor Island or something bought on sale at Longs. For example, good reciprocal gifts after the neighbor brings you mangos or papaya or kabocha squash include: Shishido mochi from Maui, bread sticks from Kaua'i, bread from Moloka'i or the big plastic bucket of senbei that goes on special every other month. You gotta be careful with the senbei, though, because if your neighbors are the real over-achiever types, they'll do something sneaky like make a bunch of Chex party mix (the kind with the EXPENSIVE nuts!), fill up that plastic bucket and leave it right back on your doorstep. Then, what are you gonna do?

To complicate matters, the other-side neighbor brought over a plate of sushi this weekend. And the neighbor in the back has a tree loaded with pomelo, so it's just a matter of time before that shows up at the door, too.

I find myself in deep local-girl guilt. I don't have a garden or fruit trees, I don't have a special recipe for chutney, and I feel like perhaps I'm not yet in the age bracket where I can get away with the senbei bucket (though I'm probably fooling myself on that one). There's no fishing or gathering or secret 'opihi connection anywhere in my family. And when my parents visit from Kaua'i, they bring ... mangoes.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.