AdoptUSKids uses convenience of the Net to help families' love grow

By Marilyn Elias
USA Today

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Navigating adoption sites Anybody can set up a Web site offering adoption services for a fee. So adults seeking adoptable kids should deal only with reputable agencies, said Carolyn Johnson, executive director of the National Adoption Center. Here are useful pointers from Johnson and Jane Morgan, adoption specialist in the Children's Bureau at the Department of Health and Human Services: The site should be operated by an agency licensed in its state or working exclusively with licensed agencies. To check on licensing, see www.calib.com/naic. No credible Internet placement service asks for money up front or claims it can bypass the "home study" visits. Get copies of the Internet agency's brochure and financial report to assure it's reputable. You need the child's full family, medical, psychological and school history. You have the right to meet with his doctors and therapists. Any hesitancy about disclosure should send up a red flag. You need ample time with the child before making a decision. Any undue pressure warrants suspicion.

"The Web erases geographic barriers, and adults living miles away from these kids may be able to provide wonderful homes once they know they're available," said Susan Orr of the Children's Bureau at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

The department is the primary sponsor of the Web site, called AdoptUSKids (www.adoptuskids.org). The National Adoption Center in Philadelphia developed and manages the site.

The children shown, awaiting adoption through public agencies, are not the much-desired healthy infants. Most are school age and have handicaps — physical, emotional or intellectual. Some are part of sibling groups to be adopted together. Many are ethnic minorities.

The new site "will be a great tool for finding homes," predicts Joe Kroll of the North American Council on Adoptable Children.

Adoptions are increasing, thanks to a 1997 federal law that limited how long kids could remain in foster care before agencies started looking for permanent homes. Financial incentives offered to states that stepped up adoptions "got states to act on the ones who could be easily adopted," Kroll said.

Many of the kids still on adoption rolls have been waiting for years and have serious disabilities, he said. So a "one-stop" site that maximizes the pool of potential parents makes sense.

Even youngsters with serious problems can make progress in a good home and give their adoptive parents plenty of joy, said Carolyn Johnson, executive director at NAC. "The key is full disclosure, that parents understand what the child needs."

No painful surprises hit Michelle Kleehammer, 31, of Pilot Mountain, N.C., after last year's adoption of 9-year-old Philip. She and her husband found him at a smaller Internet site run by the NAC. They knew Philip had been exposed to crack and excess alcohol before birth, was mildly retarded and diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Nonetheless, "we fell in love with him the moment we saw him," Kleehammer said. Philip lived in a foster a five-hour drive away. After a series of long visits, they took him home for good in March 2001. By April, he was off drugs for ADHD, Kleehammer said. "He called us Mom and Dad from the start, and once he was in a stable environment, he just didn't seem to need the medicine anymore," she said.

Kleehammer home-schools Philip. "His neurologist said he'd pick up six months in a year of schooling, but when we had him tested a while ago, he'd progressed 18 months in eight months, so we think he's catching up quickly."

Although the boy needs continuing medical care and focused attention, "he's made us so happy. ... He's a gentle, nurturing child and pretty much the center of our universe," Kleehammer said. They have a 4-year-old foster daughter whom they're thinking of adopting. And now they're looking on the Web for another child.

Shelley Naber, a 36-year-old homemaker in rural Wisconsin, has three adolescent daughters and wanted a larger family. "We'd been trying for so long," she said. Then she and her husband, Roger, saw 8-year-old Amber at the NAC site in the fall of 2000. A victim of severe neglect and abuse, Amber would do best as an only or youngest child, her page said.

Amber had been in therapy for three years. Her parents had done terrifying things to Amber and two younger siblings. "One time they tied her to a tree for three days and left her alone in the forest," Naber said.

Although she's had understandable trouble trusting adults, Amber has become much less anxious over the past 15 months, Naber said. Her therapy sessions are tapering off. "She needs a lot of attention, and we're willing to give that to her. Now she's really starting to feel like family."

The new Web site provides information on all kinds of disabilities youngsters might have and offers online courses for parents preparing to adopt, Johnson said. Weekly moderated chats, message boards and support groups also are available. Parents may search for youngsters by preference — age, gender, etc.

A section for social workers will speed replies to parents interested in children and allow adoption managers to monitor responses. Prospective parents still will need to be approved for adoption after evaluations and home visits by social workers.

The federal government spent $1.6 million to set up AdoptUSKids, and it will cost more than $2 million to keep the service going each year. The site owes its existence not only to public money, but also to four companies that donate key services: Oracle Corp.; Answerthink; SunGard and Sears Portrait Studio. The Freddie Mac and Dave Thomas foundations provided about $500,000 in startup costs.

Some view the parents who leap in to adopt as heroes. But they often say they're the lucky ones. "The Christmas when we found out we could have Amber was the most joyous one we ever had," Naber said.

Her optimism personifies the slogan of the National Adoption Center, listed on all its official papers and a key premise for the Web site: "'There are no unwanted children ... just unfound families.'"