ABOUT WOMEN
Dialogus interruptus brings out the cellmudgeon in me

By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer

The third time my friend answered her cell phone at dinner when we were out the other night, I waited out her conversation and then threatened to write about her and expose her cellfishness.

First I suggested she turn down her ringer. Then I decided on a full-blown rant on the subject.

Sure, a cell phone is convenient. But this anytime-anywhere attitude is really starting to bug me.

Hiding out to make a call the way smokers sneak a puff is starting to sound like a good idea.

Slipping away to a bathroom stall to do it, however, still leaves me uneasy. While at least the talker has left the restaurant table, or treadmill at the gym or whatever, I hate that it makes me consider whether I should wait to flush in the next stall over just to save them from embarrassment.

Not that I'm Miss Manners or anything. I will be the first to admit I don't always use the best phone etiquette. Sometimes my cell rings too loudly in the wrong place at the wrong time, or I yell over the static when I'm in my car with the windows down and it sounds like I'm in a windstorm.

I find it hard to believe how attached I've become to my little gadget, even though it can't even hold a signal on the island half the time. I'm one of those people who gave up a land line for a cell phone, and when I forgot it this morning, I backtracked 10 minutes to go home and get it.

I don't know when my answering machine stopped being good enough. There's a lot to be said for being out of touch.

But I continue to be amazed by the way people turn their phones into public broadcasting systems — at the beach, in the checkout line, or even during face-to-face conversation, implying that the call is more important.

I know I'm not alone in griping about this. There's even a Web site (cellmanners.com) where a "cell manners specialist" offers advice on how to alert someone they are crossing the manners line. Like throwing a "cell glare."

"This is a look of disapproval that actually has worked for us quite well," the specialist says. "Many people receiving the cell glare have immediately lowered their voices or have gotten off the phone altogether. Another method is to gently interrupt the person speaking on the phone with 'Excuse me. Perhaps you'd like to have our conversation another time?' This alerts the rude cell phone user that they have just cut one conversation off to have another discussion."

Reading other people's complaints — like the guest at a wedding who was not amused when the groom's phone rang just as he was taking his vows — has made mine seem insignificant.

I'm also up to speed on lingo such as becoming "cellibate," someone who does not use or refuses to use a cell phone. I know it will make me sound hopelessly behind the times, but cellibacy is sounding more and more appealing.

Reach Tanya Bricking at tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8026.