honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, December 22, 2002

Have a varied, merry Christmas

By Zenaida Serrano Espanol
Advertiser Staff Writer

Susan Grass claims to have never owned a Suzie Homemaker Doll.

From left, Brittany, Jill and Nicole Wheatman paint ornaments for the family tree.

Gregory Yamamoto • The Honolulu Advertiser

A 15-minute conversation with the 23-year-old newlywed about holiday aspirations, however, would imply otherwise.

With what free time she could spare, the full-time University of Hawai'i public information officer has proudly immersed herself in the

domesticated world of a Martha Stewart-style holiday, complete with a new home trimmed in all the glory of yuletide greenery. She plans to prepare a four-course Christmas dinner for her Navy husband of nine months, and her parents, who are flying in from Massachusetts.

While other women Grass' age are probably busy fretting over which shade of red lipstick would best match their cleverly-clingy angora sweater for the big college or company Christmas bash, Grass has bigger concerns, like how to master homemade cranberry mold.

"I looked it up in a cookbook and I'm not the best cook, so I'm going to try to go all out," the Honolulu resident said and laughed. "We'll see what happens."

But dishing up an elaborate meal is the last thing on the mind of 59-year-old Mary Ann Gertz. The single real estate agent from 'Aiea will be jet-setting to Panama City, Panama, to celebrate the holidays with her siblings at her sister's waterfront condo.

"It is very tropical there," Gertz said, her eyes showing a hint of excitement. She looks forward to a Christmas spent sight-seeing, playing tennis and bridge, and even doing some Latin dancing.

Like snowflakes, no two Christmas celebrations are alike. And the way different generations handle the holidays can vary greatly too. We asked adults of all ages how they deal with everything from the shopping and decorating to the traditions and parties. Here's what they had to share:

Shopping stress

Traditional roles

Here's an overview of what we found:

• It seems whether people are more into a traditional or contemporary Christmas celebration has less to do with age than preference.

• Men can get as caught up in all the holiday hype as much as women. Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys out there who get all tingly inside at the first scent of a Christmas tree.

• When it comes to hanging those outdoor strings of Christmas lights, men — young and old — are normally stuck with the job, while women focus on getting the indoors all pretty and festive.

• Regardless of age, to most people Christmas shopping equals a major bah humbug, thanks to the indecision, jacked-up prices, crowds, traffic and the rest of the hoopla that comes with the task.

• Phyllicia Tachibana of 'Ewa Beach, 22, is a full-time University of Hawai'i student and self-proclaimed "Christmas fan": "I fluctuate between feeling the holiday spirit and trying to focus on school because I'm a graduating senior also (she's scheduled to participate in UH's commencement exercise this morning). It's kinda like, I'll remember to go Christmas shopping, but then I'll forget who I'm buying for when I get there."

• Grass detests the mall madness of the season, so she got all of her shopping out of the way pronto; that is, by Thanksgiving weekend: "The way I usually handle it is I'll go out and just buy the things that I need, all in one day. I don't look for bargain prices because I just can't stand the crowds, so I'll go out and pay the price, whatever it is, and just get the gift."

• Rakesh Lal of Waikiki, 27, is a hotel contracts coordinator: "I don't like it. It's really hard for me to decide what people want. Like today, I spent an hour just to (look for) one gift. I spent more than an hour, actually, and I came back with nothing. We have a grab-bag thing tomorrow, and I just couldn't find anything, so I have to go back tonight. It takes a lot of time."

• Gertz and her siblings have created a grab-bag party: "It's a lot of fun because we get to take a grab bag randomly, and then the second time around after everybody has chosen their gift, then we look at everybody else's and decide, 'Well, we don't want ours, we want somebody else's gift, whether they like it or not."

• Bert Schifferling of Kihei, 65, a retired electronics engineer, said that some things are best left to the experts: "Normally my wife does (the shopping). She's the commanding general for that brigade and it makes life a lot easier for me. ... No, she does ask me (for my opinion), especially if it's things for the grandchildren. So it's a mutual decision. But I pretty much let her choose. She has better taste than I do."

Hanging lights

Susan Grass is planning a special Christmas meal for her family ... in "Martha Stewart" style with all the trimmings.

Bruce Asato • The Honolulu Advertiser

• Lal, who shares an apartment with a roommate, on holiday decorating: "I don't. Just because I'm not creative and I don't have the time to do it. I guess that's part of being a guy, too."

• Joe Johnson of Hawai'i Kai, 37, is a construction equipment salesman. The self-described "soccer dad-type" ("at least for nine months out of the year," he said and laughed), has been married for 11 years and has a son, 5, and a daughter, 7: "We like to decorate the house together. I'm the lights guy. I do lights, the kids do the ornaments on the tree and my wife does the smaller, little decorations around the house."

• Jill Wheatman, 42, also from Hawai'i Kai, is in marketing and promotions. She has been married for 11 years and is the mother of 6- and 8-year-old girls: "Creating memories is really where we're at, so we're doing a lot of crafts with my kids. We're doing a lot of Christmas ornaments, Rudolph pins and snowmen, things to give to teachers and fellow classmates, baking cookies, and painting little ornaments for our tree. ...

"(My husband) does a lot of the outside tree-decorating and that kind of thing. ... (Me and the girls) do most of the inside. We don't let him get as involved as he probably would like to because we take over, so he graciously steps back and lets us go nuts.

"The tree, I put up the lights and then the kids do the decorations. Then I rearrange them when they're asleep (laughs). But basically the tree is what the girls do and then they help put things around the house, all of our little knick-knacks. ... Then their art projects. As they do them and bring them home, we highlight them around the house. So it's definitely more kid and casual. It's not elegant, 'Homes and Garden' kind of decorations."

Wheatman says "kid and casual" is the best kind of Christmas decor "because of their ages. That's the phase we're in right now, and we're loving it."

• George Lee, 75, is a retired pastor from Palolo Valley:"We tend to be modest. We notice on our street, some people go all out, and we tend to just stick to the Christmas tree and the wreaths on the door."

Traditions, old and new

Mary Ann Gertz is having a "jet-setter" kind of Christmas, flying off to Panama to visit siblings.

Bruce Asato • The Honolulu Advertiser

• Grass: "As far as my husband and I are concerned, what we decided to do is every Christmas, we're going to buy a Christmas (ornament) that kind of represents that year. So this year we bought one with a bride and a groom on a wedding cake, so that symbolizes our first Christmas. Next year, we're going to get another one that represents that year."

• Johnson and his family have made "The Nutcracker" among their holiday must-sees for about the past three years: "My daughter usually is in 'The Nutcracker' ... she's in ballet, so we go see her perform. ... We also like to go and take the kids around the neighborhood and see the lights. That's always a highlight."

• Wheatman on giving to charity: "We've cleaned out (the girls') rooms and gotten toys that they're willing to give up to donate. I normally do it, but I don't normally do it with them because they don't want to give anything up. But this year, I've done it with my younger daughter and I'm about to do it with my older daughter, where they go and choose the things that they're willing to give up and they then have ownership of it, and we're going to go and take it down to probably the (Institute for Human Services), the women and children's area.

I haven't done it yet, but that's our plan because I think they're old enough to not only understand the giving, ... but understand that there are people and places that people have to live that have much less than we have. I want them to understand how important it is, when they give, the impact it has on other people. ... This year, I want them to see a face, or to see an area or a place, and they can compare it to their home and they can compare the gifts that these kids are getting to what they're getting, and appreciate things."

Get-togethers galore

Joe Johnson, his wife Elise; daughter Paris, 7; and son Spencer, 5; love to look at the neighborhood lights and go see "The Nutcracker."

Bruce Asato • The Honolulu Advertiser

• Tachibana: "My friends and I usually check out the Christmas lights before Christmas. What we do is we get everybody together, go out to dinner, check out the (Honolulu City) lights and then take pictures."

• Johnson on dealing with the company Christmas parties: "I guess what (my wife and I) have developed to doing is trading off. Other than the all-family ones, you know, she does her ones and I'll watch the kids and then I do mine, and she watches the kids. ... We used to do them together, but I don't enjoy hers and she doesn't enjoy mine (laughs), and it's hard to find somebody to watch the kids for that simple little thing."

• Gertz, who normally spends the holidays on the Mainland with her family, always makes time to meet with her friends before Christmas: "We have a little get-together for our bridge group. Usually we do a light dinner and then we exchange gifts with maybe just eight people. I have another bridge group that we usually have four tables, so that's 16 people, and we have a Christmas potluck."

• Lee describes his family as a "blended" one; he remarried and has been with his wife for 22 years. He has three of his own children, she has two of her own, and together they have seven grandchildren:

"I share property with my married daughter, and then across the driveway, my step-daughter just built a new house. So there's like 10 of us in one dead-end street. What happens is because everybody likes to do their own thing on Christmas day, we normally let all the children open one gift on Christmas Eve, then on Christmas morning, we get up and (the entire family) has brunch together. We open all the gifts across the driveway in the other house, and that's been fun."

Reach Zenaida Serrano Espanol at zespanol@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-8174.