Family Matters: Sharing family stories brings sparkle to Christmas
By Michael C. DeMattos
My favorite part of the holiday season is listening to the many stories shared by family and friends about their own Christmas experiences and memories. I am particularly fond of the stories shared by those more "seasoned." Inevitably, the times were simpler, but also more challenging. The gifts were fewer and frequently homemade.
It has been said that to a starving man, food is god. We are driven by our needs, which must first be satisfied. Then, if grace allows, we are free to pursue our wants and desires.
For my parents and their parents before them, those few homemade toys were wonderful Christmas gifts that were all the more meaningful because of the time it took to make them. It was clear that great sacrifices were made in order for that gift to find its way under the tree.
In my mind's eye I can see my grandfather carving a top that would be given to his son on Christmas morning. I can also see that boy, my father, gently putting his new top on the shelf after playing with it the entire morning.
My grandfather worked hard to provide for his family. Even with six children, their needs were few, but so were their luxuries. My father's family lived in Kaka'ako. The community was tight-knit, providing necessary support through tough times.
It is clear that my father treasured his homemade toys, and the twinkle in his eye as he recounts "Christmas Past" tells me that they remain in his heart till this day. Still, necessity is the mother of invention and what we call a luxury, such as a bike, a child may see as a need. Thankfully, growing up in Kaka'ako bred resourcefulness.
As my father explains it, he and his friends had two Christmases each year.
On Dec. 26, they would go "adventuring" into lower Manoa looking for large-ticket items, such as bikes, scooters and wagons that had been discarded and left on the side of the road. They were often damaged and run-down, having seen better days. Still, two or three broken bikes could yield one very nice bicycle.
With elbow grease, spit, polish and tender, loving care, the bike would be made shiny-new and sparkle like Christmas itself, despite the tough times or perhaps because of them.
And thanks to the sharing, my Christmas is shiny-new and sparkles — like extra tinsel laid on the tree for good measure.
Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work. He is a family therapist, educator, trainer, storyteller and angler, and lives in Kane'ohe with his wife and 5-year-old daughter. Reach him at: Family Matters, Island Life, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
