By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

Years ago, Chinese elders in Honolulu had a wise custom of paying their debts at the end of the year so they would start the new one with a clean slate. This strikes me as an excellent idea.

Therefore I want to acknowledge the debt I owe you for reading this column. When I look in the mirror in the morning, I often wonder when you're going to catch onto me, a big fraud.

You see, I don't write this column. You do. No writer is clever enough to come up with the stories you call in about. If you ever stopped, I'd be out of a job. And I'm having too much fun to quit. Nothing is more interesting to me than the stories of real people.

Let's see, what other debts should I repay? Oh, yes, I walked to the bank this week feeling guilty. The newsroom this time of the year is a mine field of fruit cake, chocolate brownies, ginger snaps, etc., none of which I can resist.

The bank has a scale that sternly records my sins. I stepped on the scale with a heavy heart and a full stomach. Guess what? The scale was out of order. I weighed 67 pounds. I haven't weighed 67 pounds since I was in the second grade. Bless you, First Hawaiian Bank.

Some people don't want to be paid, so Jimmy Tsutsuyama will be mad at me for this. He's about 5 feet tall and 4 feet wide, wears a floppy, flat hat and carries an old bread wrapper with crumbs in it. The crumbs are for ducks on Manoa Stream.

Jimmy also fed a kolea that used to hang out in the grass where Manoa Stream runs into the Ala Wai. But the kolea disappeared.

Besides feeding down-and-out birds, Jimmy has taken on, single-handed, the beautification of Manoa Stream. Over the past year, he has cleared out a tangle of weeds and underbrush behind Iolani School. He's turned the stream bank into a park with reflecting views through the branches.

But don't tell him I told you. He doesn't want me to write about it.

We all should be thankful that the city is dredging the Ala Wai. True, it was a long wait.

The job is being done with a backhoe that reaches down to the bottom and brings up one bucket of mud at a time. It's like excavating Diamond Head with a teaspoon, so we'll have to be patient.

I owe another debt to the couples who come over from Japan to be married. Every time I walk by Kawaiaha'o Church, there's another radiant bride and a groom in a tuxedo that doesn't fit. It's a delightful sight. The father of the bride looks like a Japanese ambassador to the Vatican in a swallow-tail coat and striped pants.

The part I like best is when the groom picks up the bride for the traditional wedding photo. If he's skinny and she's not, it makes my day.

Probably the biggest debt I owe is to the computer technicians at The Advertiser who magically revive this infernal machine when it balks. To all, a Happy New Year.

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-0873.