Make Valentine's Day all about your family

By Samantha Critchell
Associated Press

Paper-petal flowers can make a long-lasting Valentine's Day bouquet. For kids' safety, you can use pipe cleaners instead of wire. Associated Press

"Valentine's Day has romantic roots, but it has become a day for everyone," says Miriam Arond, editor in chief of Child magazine. "Parents love an excuse to show their kids how much they love them."

But showering children with love doesn't have to mean showering children with presents.

Instead of teaching kids that Feb. 14 is just another day to submit a gift list, Arond suggests making an effort to make the day special, maybe give "a gift from the heart." Maybe heart-shaped waffles will be waiting on the breakfast table or a special card that recounts all the things that make your child special, Arond says.

Craft projects can be an entree for parents to teach first lessons on love.

Preteens and even teenagers who might shy away from giving and getting parental affection can be coaxed into making paper-petal flowers or cards.

It's not always so uncool for kids to show parents they love them, especially on a day when everyone is expected to do so, Arond says. Using funky computer graphics or humor to jazz up a card instead of being forced to send a sappy one also helps teenagers express themselves without sacrificing their hip image, she notes.

A more sentimental route is cards made from family photographs (or color copies of family photographs) that are cut with scalloped-edge scissors to make interesting borders, suggests Kieran Juska, home and crafts editor for Rosie magazine.

"Homemade cards are the most fantastic thing for parents to get from their kids. They always hang them with pride in their office," she says.

And younger children who aren't ready to handle all the craft equipment on their own can work with parents to make Valentines for their classmates. The emphasis is on the "all."

Parents also need to remind their children that if Valentines are being handed out at school, everyone needs to get one, Arond says.

Many schools or teachers set a policy about Valentine's Day cards, but if they don't, it's time to set an example.

"It's a day about love, not about exclusion," Arond says.

She adds: "It can be very touchy."

Class-wide cards usually stop in the fourth or fifth grade, but while that might solve one problem, it might lead to another — especially for the preteen girl who didn't get the attention she wanted from a certain someone.

The best way for a parent to deal with a disappointed daughter — or son — is to create a safe, secure and loving home, Arond says. "Make it clear there's no rejection here," she says.

But, she adds, don't ignore Valentine's Day just to take the sting out. The experience, no matter how upsetting it is, can be helpful in the long run.

"Your child will feel some sort of rejection or unpopularity at some point, so make this a life lesson. Say 'We love you and you'll live through it,' and then recall your own war stories," Arond says.

Juska suggests these projects that are intended for adults or children old enough to handle scissors and a glue gun but can easily be adapted for smaller hands. The craft "recipes" appear in the magazine's February issue.

Paper-petal flowers

You'll need: scissors, assorted colored vellum and/or waxed papers, heavy white paper, wire, a button, wire cutter, crafts glue, green ribbon.

Instructions: Using scissors, cut hearts in three different sizes, four or five in each size, from vellum or waxed paper. Cut a small circle from the white paper.

• Poke the wire through the circle and then through the tips of the hearts, arranged in order of decreasing size.
• Thread the button onto the wire, and position on top of the heart "petals." Attach the button by threading the wire through the button's holes. Using wire cutter, snip wire to desired "stem" length. Glue green ribbon to wire under white circle, and wrap ribbon around entire wire. Glue ribbon to bottom of stem.
• Arrange the petals to form a flower. (Juska says younger children can substitute green pipe cleaner for the wire, eliminating use of the wire cutter. Just fold over the pipe cleaner to keep the petals in place.)

Be-my-Valentine garland

You'll need: fusible interfacing, assorted fabrics, an iron, standard or decorative-edge scissors, hole punch, string or twine.

Instructions: Following the manufacturer's instructions, fuse interfacing to fabric with an iron.

• Using scissors, cut hearts in assorted sizes from fabric.
• Stack several hearts onto each other and fuse together with an iron. Repeat as many times as you'd like for desired-length garland.
• Using hole punch or awl, punch two holes on opposite sides near the top of each heart.
• Thread the string or twine through the holes.

(To make this a child-friendly activity, eliminate the interfacing and iron. Instead, Juska says, use fabric glue to paste the largest-size fabric hearts onto same-size pieces of posterboard, also cut into hearts. Use the same glue to attach the smaller-size hearts.)