By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

News Item: The daughter of recently deceased baseball great Ted Williams claims that her half-brother has shipped the body of their father to an Arizona company to be frozen and stored at 320 degrees below zero in cryonic suspension.

The company Web site claims that, "with the many advances in science...the possibility of living a longer, more productive life even following the event we now refer to as 'death,' is becoming more realistic with each passing day."

With the exposure cryopreservation has received from the Ted Williams episode, how long, you wonder, will it be before some other prominent sports figures join the 49 bodies the company already claims to have on ice?

If it worked for Austin Powers, then why not for ...

Dick Tomey, who might then get another chance at the athletic director's job at the University of Hawai'i.

Ashley Lelie, because nowhere in the phone book-thick NCAA Manual is there a rule against cyropreserved eligibility.

Barry Bonds, so maybe somebody in his next life will actually pitch to him for a change.

Larry Price, who, now that his term as Stadium Authority chairman has expired, could be brought back to shed light on future Hawai'i Tourism Authority deals.

Phil Mickelson, maybe the only way he can wait out Tiger Woods and finally win a major.

Ronaldo, so there will be many more World Cups in his future.

Pete Rose, because it might take that long for the Hall of Fame to come around on his candidacy.

Marie-Reine Le Gougne, the infamous French skating judge, who deserves to be "on ice" herself.

Donald Fehr and Bud Selig, to avoid the otherwise inevitable baseball strike this season.

Mike Tyson, because his career is in the deep freeze anyway.

Jose Canseco, anything to postpone his "book."

State Majority Co-Leader Cal Kawamoto, who might someday get to realize his wish of having a local figure hired at UH.

George Steinbrenner, because somebody else deserves to buy, uh, win an American League pennant.

Sacramento Kings, because even a good team can grow old and awfully frustrated waiting for the Lakers' championship run to come to an end.

Dick Vitale and Bill Walton, just because.

Ted Williams' son, John Henry Williams, so the father can finally be rid of this leech.