Melissa Etheridge: A rock star's personal journey
By Derek Paiva
Advertiser Entertainment Writer
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| Melissa Etheridge
7:30 p.m. today Blaisdell Arena $45, $55 526-4400 Also: 7 p.m. Saturday, Maui Arts & Cultural Center, $45, $55. (808) 242-7469 |
True, if you were even a minor fan of the wonderfully throaty-voiced blues-rocker and composer of such classic rock anthems as "Come To My Window" and "Bring Me Some Water," chances are you already knew a good chunk of Etheridge's life story.
For example, how after three well-received albums, the Leavenworth, Kan.-born Etheridge came out musically and publically as a lesbian in 1993 with the declaratory "Yes I Am," a 6-million selling disc of earnest up-tempo rockers mostly about her once-unrequited love for her then-partner, music video director Julie Cypher.
Seven years later, in the wake of unrelenting media pressure, Etheridge famously revealed in a Rolling Stone cover story that the drop of sperm that produced her and Cypher's two children Bailey and Beckett came not from good friend and long-rumored suspect Brad Pitt, but formerly wasted on the way folkie David Crosby.
Even so, the bio revealed there was still a whole lot of "Truth" left to tell. For one thing, an older sister who abused Etheridge sexually from age 6 to 11. And the real reason the seemingly idyllic 12-year Etheridge/Cypher union ultimately ended in 2000: Cypher's confession to a stunned Etheridge that she was no longer gay.
Released alongside her biography last summer, Etheridge's seventh album, "Skin," offered a similarly unflinching, emotional chronicle of the drawn-out dissolution of the couple's relationship. A deeply personal confessional of compositions, the album found Etheridge's majestically raw vocals often painfully wrapped around some of the most revelatory lyrics of a recording career that has thrived on similarly autobiographical "this is my life right now" material.
But that was then, and this is now.
I spoke with Etheridge, 41, in mid-June while she relaxed in the living room of her Los Angeles home on a weekly, very much self-designed, three-day break from her current 40-city concert tour supporting "Skin." Personable, refreshingly unguarded and quite happy, thank you very much, throughout our chat, Etheridge's mind was already fixated on a couple of weeks of Maui vacationing after her two Hawai'i concerts this weekend.
Q: I'll start with a question a fan of yours e-mailed me to ask you: Why did it take you so long to come to Hawai'i for a concert?
(Sighs ... feigning exasperation.) Because it's not on the way ... anywhere! (Laughs.)
At least not by tour bus, anyway.
Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to get the buses there. I think had I been a big Japanese artist ... (catches her grammatical faux pas) I mean, (a big artist) in Japan — I'm not Japanese. But if I had been a bigger artist in Japan, then I could've always stopped on the way there. But I've never toured Japan. It really takes something to go (to Hawai'i). And finally, we made it work out. I remember my manager calling me and saying, "OK, you can play London or Hawai'i." It's like, "'Hello?'" (Laughs.) "I want to go to Hawai'i!" I mean, come on!
I also noticed on your tour schedule that you've got a full two weeks separating your Hawai'i concerts from your next date. You're clearly ...
What do you think I'm doing? I'm not going to go to Hawai'i for two days. Uh-uh. No way. We're sitting there. I'm a big believer in sitting on the beach ... sitting still.
Is there anything you just have to do every time you're here?
Nothing! To be able to be in that weather and ... sit there. I do so much in my life, that actually, my idea of a wonderful time is doing nothing. And the kids (Bailey is 5, and Beckett is 4), they just play. I mean, come on, it's sand and water and plants and, ohhh, I can't wait!
Why did you decide to launch a second leg of touring in support of "Skin" this summer? After all, the album has been out for more than a year now.
Well, a lot of different reasons. The "Live and Alone" tour (a brief tour of solo acoustic shows Etheridge did just after the release of "Skin") was what it was and it really fit the album. And the album did fine. There was no big hits or anything, (but) it did just fine. But I just hadn't been through with the band. And we discovered that there was interest and willingness on people's parts to come to the show even though there's not a big hit or anything. And, you know, why miss that opportunity when I can do a summer tour and do what I do?
But more than touring behind "Skin," you're reaching deep into your song vault this time around.
Oh, yeah! Basically, I just record albums to try to make the perfect set list. I've never been one to just do my new material or anything. It's the whole experience of the whole catalogue.
Are you doing any post-"Skin" songs?
Mmmmhmmm. I've been writing, and doing one song called "Secret Agent" that's a lot of fun. A lot of fun!
Can I ask why?
Well, (Etheridge's voice turns into a salacious purr) it's very sexy and it's very new and exciting.
I'm excited already. You released "Skin" and your autobiography "The Truth Is ... " at virtually the same time last summer — both incredibly candid soul-baring documents.
(Laughs.) Yeah ... ouch!
It must have been difficult touring behind so much painful and revelatory material.
At the beginning — when I first started ... that first week — it was difficult. It was hard because it was, like, "Ahhhh! This is me ... just me ... and ouch!" But everyone was just so receptive and so amazing ... that that quickly went away and it was a very strengthening experience. It definitely got easier.
Was it also a difficult time in your personal life?
Nooooo, and that's what made the difference. Had it still been difficult when I was doing that and I was truly alone then it might have been a very different experience. But I had fallen in love (with "Popular" actress Tammy Lynn Michaels). I was starting a new relationship and it was actually a very beautiful and wonderful time.
In retrospect, the whole tour must seem necessary ... even cathartic.
Yes ... completely. Looking back on it, it makes complete sense.
A year later, where are you emotionally?
Emotionally, I'm a mother. I am a lover. (Laughs.) I have this relationship that is a year-and-a-half old and which, to me, is still brand new, but ...
I think to most folks a year-and-a-half is "still brand new," Melissa.
(Laughs.) Yeah, it's so brand new ... so brand new. So it's very exciting. And I'm cleaner and clearer and I have more energy than I've ever had. So I'm very excited about the music that I'm making and the work that I'm doing. And I'm excited about living my life in a healthy and strong way. That's pretty cool.
And I'm guessing all this optimism is being reflected on stage.
Oh, yeah. The tour is a big celebration.
I read that you sold that famous house you bought after the break-up, right behind Julie's. The one with the neighboring yard and adjoining gate for Bailey and Beckett.
Yeah. It was good for a year. It was good for the kids to just have a slight move. It was a nice situation for that, sort of, immediate change. And then the house just got too small. It really, truly got too small ... very, very small. Not only indoors, but outdoors. I needed a bigger house and a bigger space. I'm just two minutes away ... just down the street. It's very close. So it's not like, you know, they have to pack up and drive an hour or anything. We're just down the street.
Is your relationship with Julie still amicable?
Yeah. I mean, it's just about the kids. That's what it's about, you know? We disagree and agree and it's all good.
You've never expressed regret about your decision to come out musically and publicly with "Yes I Am" in 1993. But 10 years later, with writers like me still shooting you questions about your music AND your personal life in interviews, do you ever feel the decision has also served to somewhat detract focus from what you do best?
Um, hmmm ... (pausing briefly) no, no, I don't. Because I know that I couldn't do what I do as well as I do if I wasn't completely open and willing to talk about it. My work is so personal that it would be ridiculous of me to think that I could keep something so private that I'm so willing to put into my music. It just doesn't make any sense.
So you don't mind me asking the questions.
Not at all. That's the way it's been for the past, jeez, eight years. (She pauses, and reflects on the time frame.) Gosh, it's gonna be ... Oh, my God, eight or nine years ... ("Yes I Am") came out in '93. Oh, my God, it's almost been 10 years! (Laughs.) Holy jeez ... where has all the life gone?
Yeah, exactly. And we're still asking, huh?
And it's fine. Because it's no longer ... the headlines aren't "lesbian rock star" anymore. I mean, that's sometimes part of the description. But (coming out) truly is one of the best things I ever did. And I've never felt that it detracted from anything.
So it's not troubling for you being occasionally categorized in the press as "lesbian rocker" Melissa Etheridge as nonchalantly as Bruce Springsteen is still occasionally called "New Jersey rocker" Bruce Springsteen?
Yeah. It's just part of it. It becomes, you know, "Midwestern, heartland rocker, lesbian mom." (Laughs.) And it's all true, so ... whatever.
Your recorded work has also seemed to me like a photo capture of you at that particular moment in time. Finally out and proud of it Melissa. In love Melissa. Rock fan Melissa. Out of love Melissa. Fair assessment?
Exactly. Yeah. I started writing like that when I was a teenager. And when I was starting to play my original material in bars, I found that the music that people responded to and liked and asked for was the truthful stuff. The stuff that really was a snapshot — a picture — of where I was at emotionally. And so I just kept doing it, and have done it. And that's just what I do.
With that in mind, what's your next album going to reflect on? Motherhood?
Ohhhh, it's going to be love and sex and excitement and energy and crazy stuff. I know it, because I've written the songs. And they're very ... a lot of celebration.
When does it look like your next CD might be coming out?
The next full album of new material will probably be spring of 2003. I recorded half of them and, after this tour, I'm gonna record the next half and then put 'em out.
Do Bailey and Beckett occasionally come out on tour with you this summer?
Yes, they do, and you know they're going to be in Hawai'i. (Laughs.) Yeah. Uh-huh. I see them every other week. But they'll come out (on tour) about every three weeks.
I'm guessing this is the first tour they've been old enough to accompany Mom on. How are they liking it?
The traveling is hard. But they love being and playing, y'know. And it's very interesting ... what mama does. They usually fall asleep at about the fourth song. It's all good.
Must be particularly great for you.
I love having them with me.
Are they anxious to come here?
Oh, yeah! It's been about two years since they've been there. And my son — who was, like, 2 when he was there — he's like, (in a childlike voice) "I want to go to Hawai'i." I'm like, "We're goin', dude! We're goin'!"
You're a confessed music junkie, Melissa. Tell me what's in your tour bus CD player right now?
Oh, my gosh! You know what? Nothing is in my CD player right now. I'm listening to the radio!
OK, what's the lure?
I listen to pop music. At home, I've got the satellite, you know, digital radio? Which rocks my world! And I put it on "The Hit List" (channel). I love it. For one thing, they don't have any commercials. But they really do have a nice mix of music.
The way radio should be, right?
Exactly! And I just listen to it and love it.
So with all that pop music ingestion you must have an embarrassing musical vice.
Oh, that's funny. Well, I don't turn 'N Sync off, OK? If that's not embarrassing, I don't know what is. Or Britney. I don't turn them off.
Hmmm, why is that?
They're very catchy! Sort of like, you know, candy. It's like, "Yum!" Like Sweet Tarts. Love 'em!
Reach Derek Paiva at 525-8005 or dpaiva@honoluluadvertiser.com
