Muslim children reveal gap in O'ahu foster homes

By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Religion & Ethics Writer

A double slaying last month that left three young Muslim children homeless has drawn attention to the need for more diverse foster families on O'ahu.

Their father, Navy sailor David DeArmond, is in the Ford Island brig. A suspect, he has not been charged in the June 10 beating death of Zaleha K. DeArmond, 31, and the stabbing death of her visiting mother, Saniah Binte Abdul Ghani, 66, of Singapore.

Six couples from the Manoa mosque came forward to care for the children while both sides of the DeArmond family explored custody issues, but they were turned down. Among them was Hakim Ouansafi, president of the Muslim Association in Honolulu, and his wife, who have no children.

Initially, the DeArmond children were separated. Later they were reunited and placed with a military family that is in the process of obtaining a special license to provide foster care for the children, said Amy Tsark, administrator of the department's Child Welfare Services branch.

The foster family is not Muslim, which concerns members of the mosque, who worry the DeArmond children are not practicing the religion in which they were raised.

State officials and the Muslim community say the case highlights the need for a diverse cross-section of families licensed to provide foster care on O'ahu.

It also illustrates the tough situation the state faces when it must act on behalf of children of different cultural backgrounds.

Officials try to fill the children's needs, from emotional to educational to physical. "Religion is one aspect of it," said Tsark.

A military family knows the ins and outs of dealing with military dependents, Tsark said, and can help them get care in other areas.

"In an ideal world, we could meet and accommodate all the needs," she said.

No Muslim families

DHS officials say there are no licensed Muslim foster families on O'ahu, though several had volunteered to become licensed, including Rashid Abdullah and his wife, friends of the DeArmond family.

Abdullah, formerly in the military, who taught David DeArmond special Islamic prayers, said the children's father converted to Islam shortly before marrying Zaleha. Immediately after hearing about the children's plight, Abdullah and his wife called DHS to offer to take the children, and even had their home inspected.

He said they were told by social worker Stacie Pascual that they were "too close to the case."

Pascual, reached at her office, said she did not recall saying that, but was not able to discuss the particulars.

After Ouansafi and others approached DHS, director Susan Chandler told the Muslim Association she would meet with members of the mosque to explain how to become foster parents. Chandler, who was on vacation, was unavailable for comment.

"We really want the Muslim community to understand. We are working with them," Tsark said.

Ouansafi said he appreciated DHS' efforts but still had concerns. Shortly after Zaleha DeArmond was killed, he raised the issue of halal, the Muslim equivalent of eating kosher, for DeArmond's children.

"They told us, 'We know you can't eat pork,' " he said. "But halal is much more than that."

Ouansafi said he knows the children are not following halal, because appropriately prepared meats can be obtained only from the mosque — and the mosque has not been called on to provide them.

Their mother's Muslim friends say they want her children to be able to practice their faith. The Abdullahs and others offered to pick up the children on Fridays to bring them to services.

Tsark said DHS is working with the foster family and a therapist to see when the young DeArmonds might be able to go to the mosque.

Little luxury to choose

Barbara Wright, former president of Foster Family of Hawai'i Association, said she was saddened that the children cannot practice their religion.

"If I had Islamic kids in my home, what do I feed them? I would go on the Internet and quick find a recipe. I'd go to their (mosque) and find out what I'd need to know," Wright said. "I think that would be the child-centered thing to do."

However, Sarah Casken, executive director of the Hawai'i Foster Parent Association, said that in the overtaxed foster care system, it is not unusual for a child to be placed in a foster home of a different religion.

"We don't have the luxury of being too picky," she said.

Annabel Murray, a court-appointed advocate for children and adult adviser to Hawai'i Foster Youth Coalition, said she knows children who grew up in foster care and were baptized into as many as four religions.

"People are not comfortable with other people's religion practiced in their home," said Murray, who is also a project coordinator for the Volunteer Legal Services Hawai'i Na Keiki Law Center Project, a child advocacy program.

But if a state agency were to go out of its way to place children with a foster family of a particular religion, it might be a violation of the separation of church and state, said Murray, who is an attorney.

Ideally, Tsark said, there would be an abundance of foster families that reflected the ethnic and religious diversity of the community.

Reach Mary Kaye Ritz at mritz@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8035.