ABOUT WOMEN
Letting your husband enjoy his hobby will make you both happier

By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Staff Writer

Every married guy needs a hobby.

Without the simple pleasures and distractions that a hobby can bring, a man might wither under the realization that he is no longer in control of his life, let alone the food he eats, the clothes he wears or the movies he watches.

A hobby is something he can claim as his own. Something, unlike the TV remote or his razor, that he doesn't have to share with another soul in the household.

My husband's hobby is golf. Big time.

Just last week, Jimmy and I went to the credit union to review our payroll deductions and make a few adjustments. While running down the list of accounts, I discovered that my mate had been diverting a small sum each paycheck into a savings account he had set up without my knowledge.

Busted.

"That's my emergency golf fund," he explained sheepishly.

"You mean, like, 'Hello 911? I'm having a golf emergency'?"

"Nah, you know, for when I need a new club."

You gotta love this guy.

A lot of golf widows complain about the long hours their partner spends on the links.

But there are a lot of good reasons to be grateful for being married to a committed golfer.

It's a no-brainer when it comes to gift-giving: a new golf shirt, a box of tees, a round of golf at a resort course or one of those little soda coolers in the shape of a golf bag.

You don't have to wonder whether he's really at the golf course or somewhere he shouldn't be — just check the tell-tale tan line on the back of his neck.

And you'll never lack for those handy little pencil stubs.

On the minus side: If your husband isn't playing golf, he's probably watching it on TV. Oh please.

And those darn wooden tees infiltrate the house like cockroaches, popping up in all sorts of unexpected places: the washing machine, the silverware drawer, your foot as you're making your way across the living room carpet in the dark.

Here are a couple of tips for a happy golf marriage:

1. No matter what he says, he does not want you to tag along in the golf cart. Anything that throws off his game will be deeply resented. Find another way to spend more time together.

2. Never play the "golf card" in the heat of an argument. You might as well insult his mother.

"Oh, sure, you can spend six hours playing golf but you can't take your own kids to the park!" Or, my favorite: "Fine, then! Why don't you just go play golf!"

More than likely, he'll reply, "Never mind, I'm not going!"

Now you're the old crone who's keeping him from the golf course, and he has another reason for being mad at you.

So, you end up begging him to go play golf because the last thing you want is to have him moping around the house all day. And you pray that he shoots a good round, so it will all blow over.

Uh, I think I've said too much.

I don't begrudge Jimmy the hours spent away from home. It's money in the bank as far as I'm concerned — precious capital to be doled out as needed in the barter system on which most marriages survive.

Spent too much money at the mall? Planning a Friday night out with the girls? Need the windows washed?

"Why don't you go play golf, honey?"

Wives have hobbies, too, you know. Only difference is, we married them.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read "About Men" and "About Women" columns online at the.honoluluadvertiser.com/current/il/aboutmenwomen.