Soccer a sport with intriguing questions
By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Staff Columnist
Find yourself staying up late at night to watch players whose names you can't pronounce from countries you have only vaguely heard of while intrigued by a game you don't completely understand yet?
Welcome to the World Cup, whose legion of fans — and the just plain curious — has been growing nightly.
In an effort to explain the subtle nuances of the game and spread appreciation of the most popular sporting event in the world, we offer the services of Mr. Soccer to answer the burning questions of the day.
Step right up and give Mr. Soccer — or, as he is known in Europe and elsewhere, Mr. Futbol — your best shot.
Q: If, as they say, a tie is like kissing your sister, why was there two so completely different reactions from the U.S. and South Korean teams when leaving the field after their 1-all deadlock?
A: Obviously, the U.S. players like their sisters more.
Q: How did U.S. attacker Clint Mathis come up with that weird Mohawk haircut?
A: He says he started it because he got bored sitting around his hotel room, which is another reason why soccer players shouldn't be allowed to use their hands.
Q: The television announcers keep referring to the defending World Cup champion French team as Les Bleus. What does that mean?
A: This year it is French for "going home early."
Q: I've noticed that South Korea's coach, a Dutchman named Guus Hiddink, usually calls his players by their jersey numbers instead of their names. Any idea why that is?
A: It might be because he has five Lees, five Chois and three Kims on his squad.
Q: Are there some parts of soccer that should be adapted into American sports?
A: If there were, Roger Clemens would have gotten a red card for what he did to Barry Bonds the other day.
Q: What does Germany's 8-0 win over Saudi Arabia say?
A: That the World Cup needs a "mercy" rule.
Q: I've noticed there's a quaint custom soccer teams have of exchanging jerseys immediately after a match. Is there anything like it on the horizon in other sports?
A: Amazingly enough, network television has proposed just such an experiment for upcoming tennis matches involving Anna Kournikova.
Q: In the course of the tournament Saudi Arabia was overwhelmed, 12-0, and China was outscored, 6-0. Wasn't there somebody out there they could have scored against?
A: The Detroit Lions.
