New hope for expectant fathers

• A few facts on fathers and their effects on their children

By Tanya Bricking
Advertiser Staff Writer

Photo illustration by Cory Lum • The Honolulu Advertiser

He figured he and his 29-year-old wife, Dulce, could have conceived on Sept. 11, when they were staying at the Ihilani Resort and Spa in Kapolei. The timing made him reflect on the significance of bringing a life into an uncertain world.

While that life is not expected to arrive until July 1, she already is real to the Nagatas. The Makiki couple will name her Nicole.

"To me, it's quite a contrast," said Nagata, 50, who has two children from a previous marriage and is excited to be a new dad again. "Because when you think of Sept. 11, it's a very senseless event and disregard for human life. Nicole, on the other hand, is the creation of innocence. And the creation of innocence is the hope for humanity."

Today marks the first Father's Day for post-Sept. 11 dads. And while many expectant fathers are awaiting due dates, they also are giving some thought to sentimental things, like the fragility of life and the responsibilities of fatherhood.

The type of fatherhood Bill Bartley is choosing will mean breaking some social traditions when he leaves Hawai'i to go back to Seoul, South Korea, as a stay-at-home dad.

He and his wife, 33-year-old Shu Kim, are American expatriates who came back to Hawai'i to give birth to a son, due July 21.

Bartley had followed his wife to Asia, where she is a lawyer-turned-investment banker in a male-dominated society where stay-at-home fathers are a rarity.

"Everyone gets a chuckle out of it," said Bartley, 37. "It's a very macho society."

Bartley plans to stay at home for their first child, and perhaps his wife will stay home when they have the next one, he said.

Coming to terms with fatherhood has meant Bartley has found strength in his commitment to his wife, her support for him and the fact that they don't care what other people think about straying from tradition, he said.

And the undercurrent in their upcoming parenthood is another connection to Sept. 11. They lived in Manhattan before going to Asia. Yet they were far away when tragedy struck and learned of it only over the Internet. Bartley's brother-in-law was a paramedic at the World Trade Center who survived the fall of the towers by climbing under a fire engine.

Learning of Kim's pregnancy soon after that only brought home the importance of family. Bartley and Kim had planned long before that about when would be a good time to start. They say having a Sept. 11 baby just makes them feel blessed.

National magazines and morning shows have made much of the predictions that maternity wards would be full this month with a post-Sept. 11 baby boom fed by couples bonded by tragedy. It's too soon to tell whether there's real evidence of a surge of births.

Anecdotally, there are testimonials such as Emmie Newman's, the owner of Emmie's Baby Shower Gifts in Kailua, who has heard talk of a post-Sept. 11 baby boom and said she tends to believe it.

"There's a lot of baby showers right now," she said. "Business is up, at least for babies."

And at Pacific Women's Care, Dr. Tina Chun has seen what appears to be a surge from the normal five to 10 deliveries a month to around 10 to 15.

"This is by no means conclusive evidence," said Chun, an obstetrician/gynecologist, "but just looking at my delivery list and my partner's delivery list, we have more than what we usually have."

Statisticians are holding out for more than what may just be wishful thinking. While complete statistics are not yet in, it doesn't look like this summer will set any birth records in Hawai'i, said Alvin

Onaka, state registrar of vital statistics.

"History doesn't confirm those types of catastrophes make people have more children," he said.

While catastrophes may not be the cause of conception, expectant dad Leslie Nagata has another theory: that the worst of days make us appreciate the best.

Reach Tanya Bricking at tbricking@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8026.

A few facts on fathers and their effects on their children

• 24 million American children (34 percent) live apart from their biological fathers.
• Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
• 1.35 million births (33 percent of all births) in 2000 occurred out of wedlock.
• 43 percent of first marriages dissolve within 15 years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children, and about 1 million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.
• More than 3.3 million children live with an unmarried parent and the parent's boyfriend or girlfriend. The number of cohabitating couples with children has nearly doubled since 1990, from 891,000 to 1.7 million.
• Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their kids than those who do not. The best predictor of father presence is marital status.
• About 40 percent of children who live in homes without their fathers have not seen them at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in different states than their children; and 50 percent of children living without their fathers have never set foot in their father's homes.
• Children who live without their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior, as compared to those who live with married, biological or adoptive parents.
• From 1960 to 1995, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes tripled, from 9 to 27 percent, and the proportion of children living with married parents declined. However, from 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.
• Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy and crime compared with children who have uninvolved fathers.