A kind word can make a difference for a lifetime

By Linda Tagawa
Special to The Advertiser

As far back as I can remember, Ruby has worn her flaming red hair short and sassy. So it caught my attention when I saw she was growing her hair longer.

One morning, I hurried into the Health Room at school. Ruby was sitting at her computer banging away at the keys when I sat down to use the phone. "So, how are things going?" I asked, matter-of-factly.

"Well, if you've ever tried to let your hair grow long and flowing from an extra-short style, you'd know about this miserable, in-between stage. No matter what you do, nothing looks right," she said. "Up until yesterday, it drove me crazy! My hair always looked a mess. I didn't feel pretty at all."

"So why did you decide to grow your hair out?" I was puzzled.

"Well, I thought there was so much more I could do with long hair than with my short bob. I just thought that long hair would be so much more fun and interesting. So I decided to grow it out."

"It turned out to be an awful experience for me. My hair fell like wet saimin noodles, it never went the way I wanted it to go and I knew it didn't look good, so I didn't feel good."

Ruby's hairdo definitely affected her mood.

She leaned forward, lowered her voice to a whisper, making sure that no one would hear, "Why, somebody even commented that I looked 15 years older! And that's not all. Someone else told me, 'For heaven's sake. Go cut your hair!' I felt worse than ever."

"Well, two evenings ago I decided to quit moping around and do something about my hair. So I dug out my old curlers and tediously rolled each lock of hair, thinking that would make a difference.

"That night I tossed and turned, trying to sleep on those big, old plastic rollers. The brushes kept poking my scalp and I felt as though I was lying on a hedge of cactus! Each time I moved, they jabbed into my head and really hurt.

" In the morning, when I woke up, half of them had fallen into the bed and onto the floor. Of course I had to get up extra early just to take out the rest of the rollers and fix my hair. When I decided to walk to school for some fresh air and exercise, I didn't realize the humidity was extremely high and by the time I got there, my hair had fallen ... splat ... just like a flat tire!

"After that, nothing went right all morning long. I was abrupt, impatient and snapped at anyone who came through my room.

"But then, something happened that changed my perspective for the rest of the day. Johnny, one of the teachers, came walking into my room. I cringed, hoping he wouldn't notice my hair. But just as he entered, he smiled and said, 'Boy, you sure have pretty, rosy cheeks, Ruby.'"

"Nobody ever gave me a compliment like that before. It was priceless. It changed the way I saw myself for the rest of the day.

"I realized that there was more to me than just my hair. Those few words inspired me to go beyond my hairdo and tap the person I really was inside. I was able to appreciate my other qualities all over again."

"And when those barriers of unhappiness and junk feelings lifted, I found a renewed way of seeing myself. After that, I couldn't care less if my hair was straight or curly, and I just laughed about my bad hair day."

"That one simple compliment shifted the way I felt about myself. ...

"Those words didn't cost Johnny a nickel, but their value to me was immeasurable."

Linda Tagawa's column is published on the first Sunday of every month.

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