Etiquette classic gets updated

Associated Press

Along with age comes maturity, and with maturity should come some basic manners.

In "The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette" (Doubleday), recently updated in a 50th-anniversary edition, parents are urged to be realistic and consistent in their expectations for manners.

"Please" and "thank you" are magic words that can be understood and used by a 2 1/2 year old, while courtesy and respect are good lessons for 3- and 4-year-olds, according to the book.

The book lists the following as the basics that should be taught at an early age:

• To say hello.
• To say "please," "thank you," "excuse me" and "I'm sorry."
• To show respect for older people.
• To respect parents' and other people's privacy.
• To speak when spoken to.
• To not interrupt when others are speaking.
• To be quiet in public places.
• To not touch or play with other people's possessions unless invited to.
• To get along with siblings or other children.

As for table manners, again, keep a child's age in mind.

It is "useless" to explain to a 2 year old about keeping his or her mouth closed when chewing because he or she may lack the physical coordination to do so and won't understand the "why," according to the "Complete Book of Etiquette"

But if a parent waits to teach this lesson until a child is 4 to 6 years old, when the child is ready to understand and perform good manners, the training will be more pleasant and successful for all.