By Bob Krauss
Advertiser Columnist

Friends of psychotherapist Roberto Moulun, who is living temporarily in Mexico, will be happy to learn he has won literary success in a writers group for an in-depth composition about Hawaiian chickens.

One day he sat in consultation with a young male patient from Waimanalo who had a sentimental attachment to fighting cocks.

Writes Moulun, "In a moment of professional distraction, I admitted my weakness for fresh eggs and my wish to get a laying hen. On our next meeting, my patient brought me a gift of two hens. And thus my dilemma began."

Moulun said one of the hens regarded it beneath her calling to do eggs. What was worse, as fighting hens, both were very territorial.

"Each day as I returned from work, I found Melanie and Coco, as I named them, lying on their backs exhausted and bloodied. To protect their survival, I tied them up with long leashes in separate areas of my yard. ...

"One morning, as I was immersed listening to the sufferings of a lovely woman patient, we were interrupted by some throaty rasps, pathetic imitations of a rooster's crow. Obviously, my hens were asserting themselves."

Dr. Moulun told his patient about Melanie and Coco.

"Had to tie them apart lest they kill each other," he explained.

His patient listened with compassion, tears in her eyes.

"Next Sunday, while I rested, three police cars drove into my yard. An immense Hawaiian sergeant presented me with a search warrant signed by Judge (Harold) Shintaku. I had been accused (by the patient) of holding two women tied down in my basement. The perplexed policemen could not find even a basement. The search produced only two hens."

"No women, only da kine chicken," the officers reported.

The embarrassed officer, in a gesture of atonement, offered to take Coco off Moulun's hands.

"But I noticed the glint in his eye and his portliness so I refused."

Instead, the doctor took Coco to a fellow yachtsman, Michael, who owed him a favor.

"Reportedly, Coco loved her new home. She began to lay eggs and to follow Michael's delightful daughter, Shannon, with the stickiness of a lap dog."

However, Michael's wife developed a phobic dislike of chickens when it was discovered that Coco carried ukus, and promptly so did Shannon.

The mystery of Coco's egg-laying was explained by her affair with a footloose rooster. So Michael's wife drove Coco to the jungles of Waimanalo and set her free.

Moulun concluded sadly, "After Coco's departure, Melanie developed a deep melancholy. She began crossing the road with suicidal intentions. One stormy night, she fulfilled her karma."

Reach Bob Krauss at 525-8073.