FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE
Her man of integrity keeps to his vows
By Glenda Chung Hinchey
"How do you keep him interested?" a divorcee asked me. Her marriage ended when she caught her husband having an affair.
Merrily dancing through 21 years of marriage, I had never given it a thought. But how do I keep my husband interested enough to stick by me through good times and bad? How have I managed to hang on to him even when my figure went from slim to plump, when strands of white hair became evident, or when my life became a boring story? What is my secret to keeping my husband loyal?
After 10 years of marriage, gorgeous Nicole Kidman was divorced by Tom Cruise when he fell in love with Penelope Cruz. Yet, after 21 years, homely Glenda Chung Hinchey still has her man.
Girls, the answer does not involve being talented in the bedroom and kitchen. My secret is this: I married a man of integrity, one who adheres to high moral and ethical principles, and who wouldn't dream of committing adultery.
David is so honest that, unlike some people we know, he refuses to cheat the cable company by acquiring a scrambler to watch pay-for-view movies for free.
Like-minded people will always find each other. To marry a man of integrity, you, too, must have integrity. It is that simple. But what does this entail?
For one thing, a woman who has integrity is not a leech. This means she pays rent when she stays indefinitely in people's homes and she refrains from leaping at every chance to get something for free, hurting others in the process.
If a woman has integrity, she will lead a life beyond reproach. Ask yourself: Would you flinch at the thought of being discussed in the media? Mother Teresa of Calcutta didn't. In fact, she welcomed reporters into her convent, and despite being interviewed, described and analyzed, not a single negative word was ever uttered about her. Could you say the same about yourself? If you have not lived a life beyond reproach and, in fact, have many regrets, don't despair; it is never too late to change.
I consider myself very fortunate to have David as my husband, a man with high moral standards. He wasn't a playboy before marriage and he isn't one now. He doesn't like to see people suffer, and, not a leech or opportunist, he pays his way through life.
When I am floundering in a sea of immorality and dishonesty, I always seek spiritual guidance from my husband. He immediately seems to know right from wrong.
This is a man who truly believes in doing what's right, and this means remembering his marriage vows: "For better or for worse, until death do us part."
Not only does he have integrity, but David also knows how to set my mind at ease. As we hugged each other one recent night, my husband tenderly said, "Don't fret over your weight. You're so soft and cuddly, not a bag of bones, and I love you just the way you are."
He is the light of my life. If only women everywhere could be as lucky. How do I keep him interested? Ask him.
David and Glenda Chung Hinchey were married on June 28, 1980, in Manoa Valley. They live in Foster Village.
For Better, For Worse is a periodic column written by readers, with their stories and advice on weddings and marriage. Write: For Better, For Worse, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; send e-mail to ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170. Articles and photos submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.
