By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

Now that the Major League baseball season is with us, a guide of what to look for this season.

April 2 — Every starting shortstop hits at least one home run. Cries of "juiced" ball begin.

April 3 — Accusations fly in the Texas Rangers clubhouse after Alex Rodriguez's favorite glove ends up on e-Bay.

April 6 — Just because he recently purchased a new Porsche is no reason to jump to conclusions, Ruben Rivera cautions teammates.

April 9 — After two rocky starts, New York tabloids say age has caught up with Roger Clemens.

April 10 — According to the Arthur Andersen accounting firm, Seattle shortstop Carlos Guillen is on target to break Barry Bonds' home run record.

April 13 — After Clemens pitches a one-hitter, striking out 17, New York tabloids say Clemens is still the best in the game.

April 28 — The United Nations dispatches a peacekeeping force to the The Ballpark in Arlington, Texas to separate Carl Everett and John Rocker.

May 3 — Jeff Kent is sidelined with a back injury. Says he suffered it while saving children from an orphanage fire.

May 4 — Kent's motorcycle is seen in a repair shop.

June 28 — In an effort to speed up pre-game introductions, the Montreal Expos introduce the fans to the players. Players line up to shake hands with both of them.

July 1 — Philadelphia's Scott Rolen and Larry Bowa sign for next round of celebrity boxing matches.

Aug. 12 — Danny Almonte makes his Major League debut. Age is determined to be 26.

Aug. 22 — Commissioner Bud Selig restarts talk of contraction. Players' union agrees — as long as it starts with commissioner's office.

Aug. 31 — Up by five games in the division standings, the Anaheim Angels vow to end their long-running habit of September collapses.

Sept. 1 — Citing a team-wide conversion to an obscure religious sect that does not permit its adherents to work in the month of September, the Angels claim the AL West title.

Sept. 2 — In a cost-cutting move, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays announce they will play with just three infielders.

Sept. 15 — Peace is declared in he Middle East and President Bush summons Sammy Sosa from the pennant race to the West Bank to teach everybody how to wave the "v"-and-kiss sign.

Sept. 28 — In an effort to raise the television ratings for the playoffs, Dennis Miller is named to the broadcast crew.