Music swaps help family bonding

Advertiser Staff

Time was, the Lawrence Welk LPs belonged to your parents, the Foghat 8-tracks were yours and never the twain did meet.

The Monette family embraces the idea of sharing music with one another, which dad Michael says he didn't do with his parents. Gregory Yamamoto • The Honolulu Advertiser

As Ozzy Osbourne might say: "Wha?"

"When we were growing up, my parents had their own type of music, mostly western and stuff from the '40s and '50s — and we used to hate it," said Michael Monette, 46. "Their common complaint about our music was that the lyrics were silly and repetitive."

Today Monette finds himself having more amicable musical exchanges with his 13-year-old son, Kyle, and his 10-year-old daughter, Melissa.

"I think some of the music (Kyle) listens to is pretty good," Monette said. "It's something we can have in common together."

So Michael Monette has no problem with Kyle's recent appreciation of all things S Club 7.

"He buys his own music, but we're watchful over the material," Monette said.

For his part, Kyle said he enjoys some of his parents' music from the '70s — even if James Taylor is no Justin Timberlake.

Results from USA Weekend's 15th Annual Teens and Music Survey found that roughly 40 percent of parents borrow CDs from their teenagers either frequently or occasionally. According to the survey, about 45 percent of teens listen to what their parents have in their collections.

The 99 surveys completed by Hawai'i teens grades six through 12 bore similar results, with nearly half reporting that they borrow CDs from their parents, or vice versa.

On her survey, Kealakehe junior Christe Garcia said she and her parents often swap music — and the result has been a healthier relationship and more fun together.

Garcia's parents belong to the Kona Ballroom Dance Club and they're always in search of something with a good beat to dance to.

"My mom DJs, so when she hears something that has a good beat to it, she'll ask me what that is," Garcia said.

Garcia said she has developed a liking for Latin music — especially Luis Miguel — through her parents' influence. And they've come to enjoy the Hawaiian music she brings home for her hula dancing.

"I think being able to share music has really helped our relationship," Garcia said.

Heather and Carlen Crockett agree.

Heather, 51, used to play classical cello in school, and she raised daughter Carlen in an environment of piano sonatas and opera.

"(Carlen) knows that I used to play and she grew up listening to classical music," Heather Crockett said. "So she understands why I like it, and I think that's why she likes it, too. We understand and respect each other's tastes."

Heather Crockett said she and Carlen's grandparents also shared a love for classical music.

"I think I was unusual," she said. "I never liked rock 'n' roll. I have three brothers and they all liked bands like the Rolling Stones. My parents couldn't stand it."

Of course, as Carlen points out, Heather isn't exclusive in her love of classical music.

"She'll surprise me," Carlen said. "Sometimes a song I like will come on the radio and she'll know the lyrics."

Mother and daughter say they enjoy Jewel, Macy Gray and Alanis Morissette — "mellow chick stuff," as Carlen refers to it.

Parents The Advertiser contacted about the survey said sharing music with their children has helped enrich their relationship.

Marie Pavich, 65, comes from a family of singers and musicians. She said her grandson, Averen, a seventh-grader at Central Middle School, grew up listening to the same Hawaiian music she enjoys — artists such as Jerry Santos and Henry Kapono. Now she listens to what he likes, including contemporary Hawaiian and Jawaiian.

"If you try not to listen, it'll still be banging around your ears," she said, "so you might as well pay attention. Listening to their music helps me to understand all (my grandchildren)."

Laura Ayers said she and her husband are happy to listen to their children's music during the drive to school — up to a point.

"As long as there's no sex, drugs or violence," she said. "I like a lot of the same things they do, just the mellower versions."

And so daughter Christie, 16, and son Terry, 19, get to fight over the tuner.

"We change the station to annoy each other," Ayers said.

Sometimes, as with the song "The World's Greatest" from the Ali soundtrack, Ayers really enjoys her children's picks.

"I liked that one so much I told my husband to go and buy it for me," Ayers said.