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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, May 19, 2002

FAMILY MATTERS
Saving gas a great excuse for a thrill ride along the Pali

By Ka'ohua Lucas

"All right, Mr. Spock, set your instruments for warp speed."

"Yes, sir, Captain," came the reply.

As our van burst through the tunnel, it began to pick up speed.

"What are you doing?" I screeched as the speedometer climbed to 45 mph.

My body strained against the seat belt and shoulder harness, preventing me from lurching forward as the van bounced over the dips in the asphalt road. My knuckles had lost their color from gripping the armrests too tightly.

"Hold on, Scottie, we are going to break the sound barrier!" my husband shouted as he threw the gear into neutral, allowing our vehicle to sail down the Pali Highway.

"Yippee!" my 8-year-old shrieked with delight.

I, too, was shrieking. Not with pleasure but in sheer terror as the vegetation on either side of me became a mere blur.

"Scottie, what is our star date reading?" my husband asked as our van careened down the highway.

"Don't Scottie me!" I squealed. "Shouldn't you be driving with the car in gear?"

My thoughts quickly turned to my dad, drilling into me that I should always drive my car in gear. "That way, you have more control of it."

I also thought about my early ancestors and how they would travel — at a safe speed — by canoe from island to island.

"The lack of roadways and the absence of beasts of burden in early Hawai'i made canoes the principal medium of transportation," writes Dr. Donald D. Kilolani Mitchell in "Resource Units in Hawaiian Culture."

"Canoes were the ideal craft for Pacific navigation since the shallow-draft hulls could clear the coral reefs in certain places around an island.... Canoes were sailed and paddled in these waters, often at a speed of five to seven or more knots."

The knot in my stomach loosened.

"Alert! Captain, we're losing speed," an alarmed voice sounded from the rear.

"Don't worry, Spock. I've stabilized the ship," my husband answered.

My son dutifully pressed imaginary buttons, placing the Starship Enterprise in a "locked position."

Glancing over at me, the Captain teased, "Scottie, prepare to transport the ship's crew."

I ignored him, eyes glued to the road.

Time and time again I've asked my husband the point of throwing the car into neutral as we veer down the highway at break neck speed.

He claims it's a matter of economics. I think it's an adrenaline rush for him.

His theory is such: "If I shift into neutral, it will lessen the amount of gasoline needed to propel the van, thereby saving an additional 53 cents at the pump."

How true this is? Go figure. I'd much rather splurge and spend the extra pennies, arriving at my final destination all in one piece, thank-you very much.

So the next time I'm invited to take a ride on the Starship Enterprise, I think I'll forgo that little expedition and opt to be transported to a safer environment.

"Beam me up, Captain!"

Ka'ohua Lucas has an 18-year-old daughter and two sons, 11 and 8. She hold a master's degree in education curriculum and instruction, and works as an educational consultant on Hawaiian curriculum. Write to her at: Family Matters, 'Ohana Section, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; e-mail ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 535-8170.