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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Monday, May 27, 2002

60 SECONDS ON BUSINESS
Five approaches to resolving conflicts

By Dr. Drake Beil
President, Solutions Inc.

The key for success in conflict resolution is discovering where your home base is, and then understanding your other options.

We actually have five choices to every conflict situation.

You can withdraw, and do nothing; just let it happen. That's good when you want to postpone the tension, or when you need more information to make a good decision. Maybe someone else will solve it, but if they don't, it could come back as a much bigger problem, more expensive to solve.

Second, you can smooth things over and give them what they want. Smoothing is useful to preserve relations, but you could be seen as someone who just caves in.

Third, you can force your choices on people. This is necessary when quick action is needed, but your goals may be achieved at the expense of others. Long-term, continuous use of force to handle conflicts will create other conflicts.

Fourth, you can try to work out a compromise deal and hope to negotiate the differences. Both parties win something. The down side is that both parties have to give something up. People try to get as much as they can and give up as little as possible simultaneously.

Fifth, you can try long-term problem solving. That option can be the most beneficial if done right. But sometimes there isn't the time or trust needed to work out the differences.

What's valuable is realizing that regardless of your home base, no one conflict management approach is right or wrong. What is important is knowing you have other choices.

Reach Dr. Drake Beil at drake@60secondsonbusiness.